emmeetslawschool:

meeresbande:

If you want to make the world a better place for mentally ill and neurodivergent people, get into the habit of shutting down people who mock/laugh at/sneer at “odd” or “weird” but harmless behaviour. Just refuse to laugh with them and say “That’s not funny.” or “They’re not doing any harm.” Do this whether or not anyone who’s directly negatively affected hears it. This is both about protecting people from ableist verbal abuse, AND about teaching ableists that their attitudes are not being tolerated and that you’re not going to bond with them over ableism (or, hopefully, any other form of oppression).

My best friend’s house rule (and the rule for the various ultimate frisbee teams she coaches/is involved in) is: 

You can be as weird as you want, as long as you’re nice.

Which basically translates to, “In this space, we will embrace all of what you are–personality quirks, likes/dislikes, habits and strangeness–but we expect the same of you. The second that you decide to mock others, you will be called out, and if it continues, you will not be allowed back in this space.” 

(Assuming, of course, that the behavior in question is not harmful to others. You don’t get to claim “I make racist jokes all the time! It’s just my personality!” and get a pass)

And that seems like a really good rule to impose in general in friend groups. Because it allows you to set a firm boundary of whatever that other person’s “weirdness” is–whether it’s because the person is neurodivergent or mentally ill or it’s just a personality quirk or preference–it will be embraced and anyone who doesn’t embrace any of it for any reason is in the wrong. 

Because, on one hand, we absolutely should be calling out attacks that are specifically ableist, especially when they are aimed at someone we know to be neurodivergent in a way that can lead to some “weird” behavior. On the other hand, it seems like there’s power in making it clear that not only are you being ableist by making fun of that person, you’re also just being an asshole.

digitaldiscipline:

academicssay:

Brandolini’s Law: “The amount of energy needed to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it.”

This is the mechanism sea lions rely on when they derail.

curlyhumility:

youcantseebutimmakingaface:

I ended up having a really interesting conversation with some people at the bus stop today. They were getting out of some sort of ‘clean and sober’ meeting and had starting saying how they were so bored because they didn’t have anything to do, and had to stay at home because all their old friends would pull them back. So I said something like, ‘So this is the time to do all the stuff your parents told you they didn’t have money/time for!’

“Whatcha mean?”

“You know, like when you were five and you REALLY wanted to have that toy or do that thing and you were like, ‘Please mom please I gotta have this I gotta go do this’ and they went ‘Hell no you think I’m paying for that do you want to goddamn EAT?’ “

And this light went on in their eyes. The lady is going to go check thrift stores for an Easybake Oven and I told her about Wilton cake decorating classes. The dude is going to Griffith Park and ride horses, because, ‘I always wanted to be a cowboy, and you can’t drink when you’re on a horse ‘cause you’ll fucking die!’

Fuck it. This is what being an adult is. Sure it’s bills and work and relationships, but damn it, it’s also time to do the things you LIKE.

I signed up for a free class/lecture on Water Gardens. I’m going. It’s time.

Jill. Jill you are wonderful.