I’ve heard a lot of advocates of inclusion say things like “kids with disabilities work twice as hard as everyone else” or “my employees with Down’s syndrome never come in late or take a day off.”
This sounds like praise, but it isn’t.
The time disabled people spend working twice as hard as everyone else has to come from somewhere.
There are reasons why kids aren’t in school every waking moment. There is a reason why vacation time exists and why it’s normal to be late occasionally.
People need rest. People need leisure time. People have lives and needs and can’t do everything.
Being disabled doesn’t erase the need for down time. Being disabled doesn’t erase the need for play, or for connections to other people.
Working twice as hard as everyone else all the time isn’t sustainable. Praising disabled people for doing unsustainable things is profoundly destructive.
People with disabilities should not have to give up on rest, recreation, and relationships in order to be valued. We have limited time and energy just like everyone else, and our limitations need to be respected.
It is not right to expect us to run ourselves into the ground pretending to be normal. We have the right to exist in the world as we really are.
it’s like how hearing people tend to assume that Deaf/HoH people come with sign language interpreters riding them piggyback.
I used to work with training programs to get them to understand that they had a fucking legal requirement to arrange and pay for an interpreter, and it was pretty much universal that they were all completely baffled that interpreters Cost Money and that it wasn’t up to their student to pay for it, nor did they go through the world just “having an interpreter” who followed them around for free.
Here’s your reminder that relationships are extremely difficult. the delusion that you are going to find that person who you move into a small apartment with and read books all day and cook naked and cuddle with and play footsie under the table with is a gross romanticization of reality.
You’re going to have great times in a relationship. You’re going to go on fun dates and have great sex and hot make out sessions. But you’re also going to fight. You’re going to be in that weird stage where you like them more than they like you or vice versa and that’s going to hurt. You’re going to have to deal with jealousy and insecurity. You will have to deal with boredom in the relationship. You’re going to be too busy for them or accidentally hurt them. And you are going to have to deal with a few break ups before you find that right one.
A relationship is not going to solve all of your problems. It’s not going to suddenly make you happy. It isn’t easy. They are much harder than being single. Relationships are an unbelievable amount of work and effort and compromise and it’s not always going to be perfect. But the effort you put into it is what make it worth it. Because you fought and worked hard for this person and hopefully they did the same for you. So remember that.
Look man, I see what you’re trying to get at here, but if “cook naked” and “play footsie” aren’t actually real things that happen in relationships sometimes THEN WHAT IS THE POINT?!
reblog if you found that person who you move into a small apartment with and read books all day and cook naked and cuddle with and play footsie under the table with
If a relationship feels like hard work that is tiring more than it feels like something that lifts you up and lends you strength and brings you joy, it’s probably time to leave.
I’ve been married for seven years, lived with my now-spouse for three years before that, and dated him for years before we moved in together. We’re still not bored. We’re partners who love and support each other. We trust each other enough to talk about our needs and love each other enough to want to meet those needs. Being considerate of your loved ones shouldn’t be hard work.
Loving someone does not have to be hard, and having fun and being affectionate as a daily norm of your relationship should really not be so rare that discussing it is a “gross romanticization.”
We met in October 2007, started living together in February 2008, got married in July 2010, had a kid in March 2015. And yes, this kind of thing happens at least once a day.
We have serious things happen too, like money discussions and parenting discussions and trying to decide if we really want another pet (the answer is always yes). But we do these kinds of things at least once a day, and that is important.
Here’s your reminder that relationships are extremely difficult. the delusion that you are going to find that person who you move into a small apartment with and read books all day and cook naked and cuddle with and play footsie under the table with is a gross romanticization of reality.
You’re going to have great times in a relationship. You’re going to go on fun dates and have great sex and hot make out sessions. But you’re also going to fight. You’re going to be in that weird stage where you like them more than they like you or vice versa and that’s going to hurt. You’re going to have to deal with jealousy and insecurity. You will have to deal with boredom in the relationship. You’re going to be too busy for them or accidentally hurt them. And you are going to have to deal with a few break ups before you find that right one.
A relationship is not going to solve all of your problems. It’s not going to suddenly make you happy. It isn’t easy. They are much harder than being single. Relationships are an unbelievable amount of work and effort and compromise and it’s not always going to be perfect. But the effort you put into it is what make it worth it. Because you fought and worked hard for this person and hopefully they did the same for you. So remember that.
Look man, I see what you’re trying to get at here, but if “cook naked” and “play footsie” aren’t actually real things that happen in relationships sometimes THEN WHAT IS THE POINT?!
reblog if you found that person who you move into a small apartment with and read books all day and cook naked and cuddle with and play footsie under the table with
If a relationship feels like hard work that is tiring more than it feels like something that lifts you up and lends you strength and brings you joy, it’s probably time to leave.
I’ve been married for seven years, lived with my now-spouse for three years before that, and dated him for years before we moved in together. We’re still not bored. We’re partners who love and support each other. We trust each other enough to talk about our needs and love each other enough to want to meet those needs. Being considerate of your loved ones shouldn’t be hard work.
Loving someone does not have to be hard, and having fun and being affectionate as a daily norm of your relationship should really not be so rare that discussing it is a “gross romanticization.”
I need to find a trans or NB Amanda moving on from Alex.
I want to trade, because I think that will help me feel more settled and comfortable, ‘cause right now it still feels stiff and weird. I think some human contact would help me feel like part of my own story again.
I’m dead serious, if you are an ex-Alex Amanda, I want to mail you my old name on a piece of paper, and have you mail me yours.
Please reblog or pass on to any folks you might know.
I will update this post if I find someone, thank you!
I know it’s constantly humid here, but it’s still kind of impressive how Mr. C left an open bag of potato chips sitting there for only a couple of hours–and they’re already kind of stale 😦
He did get back from the Worldcon trip this evening. With some Swedish chips, among other goodies. So I’m kind of at loose ends with the disruption, and can’t concentrate on much tonight. Hopefully a sleep reset will help too, in a while.
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
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