everyone says “flexibile people are sexy” but when I bend my elbows backwards and put my feet on my head suddenly it’s all “body horror” and “someone grab the salt”

I have actually used the fact I can put the insides of my elbow joints together in front of me to stop sexual harassment. He was too horrified to keep touching me.







dnd idea: an 8-ball but it has a d20 in it so you have to shake it and the d20 rises out of the murky liquid to decide your fate

Good news I found the exact opposite object

yall. every magic 8 ball already has always had a d20 inside.

It doesn’t have the numbers on it though so you can’t use it for dnd

thats quitter talk

ME: I try to jump over the gap
DM: Roll for acrobatics
8 ball: Not likely
DM: you take 97 damage and die





when you pull your headphones out of your pocket and out comes your keys, money, tampons and russia

ok i’ve had so many people asking me why i, a boy, would have tampons in my pocket, but not a single person asking me why i, a boy, would have THE ACTUAL NATION OF RUSSIA IN MY POCKET

Everyone knows that Putin made a travel sized Russia

Russian accent: Ah yes I make perfect country to Putin your pocket




Fun statistical fact: Cows are about 300 times more likely to kill you than coyotes.

Minor sidenote to statistical fact: If it was common for people to keep several hundred coyotes on their property and routinely chase them into a corral and handle them, this statistic would be different.

this is a great summary of ‘conditional probability’, a statistical property many people grapple with 

…I feel like this post just made me realize that both coconut trees and vending machines, items often quoted in wacky death statistics, are both things that people shake vigorously often


one of my favorite things about Sam Vimes’s character arc is that it’s literally your classic “gruff cop with ideals gets worn down by reality, descends into cynicism and booze” journey in reverse. 

I mean, it happens the normal way around the first time, but we don’t really see the first time- in Sam’s first introduction, he’s literally lying in a gutter. He’s already been chewed up and spat out, already seen the ugliness of the world and bent beneath it.

And then every book from there on out has him getting back up. It’s not a straightforward road, but he takes it anyways, and sure, he’s still cynical and still worn down, but he’s still got his ideals (though I’m not sure he’d like to call them ideals- maybe standards would do) and he cleans himself up and bit by bit, he works on cleaning up the world around him, too. He gets a family. He learns to accept others more openly than he had before. He still sees the ugliness in the world, but he confronts it instead of accepting it as just the way things are. Because there’s a way things should be, and he cares about it.

Sam Vimes, gruff cop with standards, ascends from cynicism and booze, starts wearing down on reality.