February 18, 2018 – Page 7 – Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0

astrollusion:

I fucking love Irish slang like it’s the most creative craft ever.

Today I heard a coffin being referred to as a “wooden onesie” in the sentence “Ah jayysus, me nanny looks better than ye and she’s in a bleedin wooden onesie” and it was honestly life changing

tilthat:

TIL Lyndon Johnson liked to scare visitors to his ranch by driving his amphibious car downhill into a lake while shouting “The brakes don’t work! The brakes won’t hold! We’re going in! We’re going under!”

via reddit.com

snowflakeeel:

snowflakeeel:

My 15% water change just turned into a 50% waterchange! Sometimes if you believe in yourself you can get so much more done!!!

I accidentally siphoned 35% of the tank’s water on to the floor

bonrealprophecies:

free samples

Source: sexymachine

byesexualroymustangs:

byesexualroymustangs:

baby toucans are so unspeakably cute

look

Video: How baby toco toucan grows up. (From the egg to almost flying)

Source: comicslams

tinsnip:

ladyyatexel:

My surgeon came out and told my mom and brother on Tuesday that I’d be down and out for about two weeks.

My brother: TWO WEEKS? Holy shit.

Surgeon: Well, consider this. She and I just had a knife fight. And I won. Because she was asleep during it.

My brother: Oh. Yeah, okay, that’s fair.

Your surgeon sounds fucking hysterical.

falseknees:

I actually find this reassuring somehow

Source: falseknees

lesbiantics:

my gender is E̷̡̨̲̩̼͚̘̟̟̖̮̮̩̝̼̬̰̦̺̣̐̂̀̔̍̐̐̔̔̽̉̂͐̎R̸̛̛̰͒́́͋̿̔̽́̽̀͒̍̊̂̍́̅̀̍̎́̄͒̿̽̀̆͗̓̀̄̐̎̀͂̾͂̐̆̆͛̇͝R̸̡̫̫̮̱̦͒̿̈́̆̉̈́̏̚͘̚ͅƠ̶̛̲̜̘̰̣͉̪͔̟̦̜̟̊̑̈̃̾̀̌͜Ŗ̵̡̧̛̛͔͎̮̖͚͈͉̳̯̩̠̇̍̐̈͊̉̽̂̾̆̃̓́̌̾̌̾͌̎̌̊͆̈́̈́̿̓̕͘͘͘̕̚̚͜͠͝4̵̧̡͈͙̤͍͓̙̺̩͈̮̮̲̮͔̫̮͓̉͌̈̈́̈͝0̷̧̭͍̜̞̘͓̣̟̣̻͇̦̖̦̱͉̙͇̟̥̼̼͆̔̆̓͒̿͒̒̓̉͑̏̋͌́́̔̕̕͘͜͝4̷̡̢̢̧̺̥͕̱͍̟̻̪̹͙͓͉͌̐́́̐̍͑̄̏̂̆́́̈̈́̅̍̕̕͠͝͠

cutecornflakes:

This cat is not sure how to feel about snow

Source: cutecornflakes