that-shits-reblogable:

haiku-robot:

vanillalolita:

writing-prompt-s:

You’re a powerful dragon that lived next to a small kingdom. For centuries you ignored humanity and lived alone in a cave, and the humans also avoided you. As the kingdom fell to invaders, a dying soldier approaches you with the infant princess, begging you to take care of her.

She is devoid of any scales or fur, this tiny ball of squalling royalty.

The knight that holds her is bleeding out more sluggishly than before, running out of life and time as he begs me to take care of her.

“No revenge.” I murmur to him; that is not my way.

“No.” He agrees softly, kneeling before my bulk and drip-dripping his life onto my floor.

“No revenge. Just want her to live.”

He topples over suddenly, and I let him fall. The ball of swaddling is what I catch in my claws. A paltry offering of gold falls from the blankets, body-warm and forgotten as I lift this princess to observe her more closely.

I see aquamarine glittering in her face, eyes lit up with tears in the rose gold hue of her cheeks. She is snotty and soiled, bloodied and unhappy. And she is mine.

“You will need milk.” I sigh, walking best I can on three legs to the back of the cave to settle her in a cradle of smooth gems. Oddly befitting her status, though it means nothing anymore. I breathe hotly over her, the screaming quieting in the face of warm air and the white noise I make.

“Sleep, princess.” I murmur soothingly. “I will return with food.”

————

“Get down from there.”

I do not need to raise my voice, she knows well enough who I am speaking to and what I speak about. She jumps from the tree branch she had been climbing and lands on my head.

“I want to fly like you do.”

Oh, she is stubborn, with hair like fire and those aquamarine eyes. She pulls at my scales and bares her blunt little teeth in a copy of my own snarl.

“I could gobble you up.” I warn, unable to hide the smile in my voice. It is good she is stubborn; any dragon should be just a little head-strong.

“I would break your teeth with my skull!” She cackles back, scrabbling down to my back to nuzzle the soft leather of my wings.

“When will my wings grow?”

Always so full of questions.

“Maybe never. There are land dragons, sea dragons, dragons of the sky…perhaps you will lose your arms and legs and become a wyrm.”

She laughs her harsh cackle, biting at me playfully.

I love her so.

I cannot even bring myself to tell her she is not a dragon.

i cannot even
bring myself to tell her she
is not a dragon


^Haiku^bot^8. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes.

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Haiku bot that wasnt okay

glumshoe:

It’s fiddlehead fern season! One of my favorite edible plants, ostrich ferns send up tightly-coiled fronds in the spring. They can be collected while young and close to the ground, but the window to harvest them is very narrow. Washed thoroughly and sautéed in butter, they taste absolutely marvelous. Fiddleheads have been eaten by indigenous people for countless generations.
Avoid eating the fiddleheads of bracken ferns, which may be carcinogenic. Ostrich ferns may possibly contain other mild toxins, but what doesn’t? They’re delicious and a seasonal treat, not the basis of my diet.

Callout post for rude baby seen at grocery store

barbieprivilege:

yungmethuselah:

I’m calling out a baby (approx. 12–14 months old) from the grocery store due to its rudeness. I’m guessing its age based on appearance, motor skills (atrocious) and whatnot. Anyway, I smiled at this baby and it just stared at me. As soon as I began to move on, though, the baby said “no!” and started giggling when I turned back around. This happened multiple times. The baby’s actions were toxic and manipulative. The baby was also manhandling a package of dried fruit which wasn’t yet paid for (which is quite minor) and was just generally sitting around and not helping.

this is exactly what you guys sound like when you talk abt how its woke to hate children

prokopetz:

darinharrfath:

prokopetz:

Today’s aesthetic: security systems in video games that make no sense at all unless whoever built it was aware that they’re a character in a video game.

Do you mean like:

“These security cameras turn in such a way that they leave a 5 second gap for people to run through”

or more like:

“Guards will be on high alert at the sound of an intruder until 2 minutes pass then they just go back to normal.”

I mean like “the sum total of this allegedly ultra-secure facility’s security measures is that the valuable stuff is on a raised platform that’s exactly one inch taller than your maximum jump height, but otherwise in plain sight”.