I do my best to get by on about half the US minimum wage without
asking for help, but my best is not enough to make the numbers work
consistently. I’m disabled and not able to do traditional work, and this month is one of the difficult ones.
So…
I’m asking for help with necessities like groceries, bus fare, laundry, copays, etc. And
this may seem frivolous to anyone not facing similar challenges, but I
also really do need new foundation as I’m v. visibly intersex and almost out of the expensive ($39) stuff that hides my beard shadow enough to feel safe in public. (I go through about a jar a year.) Someone helped me with this bit, thank, you!
I’m so
sorry I have to ask you for help. I promise I really do try my best to
avoid it any way I can. If you can’t or don’t feel like donating I
completely understand, we’ve all got our own stuff going on. I’m just throwing this out there in case anyone has the resources and the inclination to help. Literally anything, even a quarter, would make a difference.
Please don’t donate if you’re a
kid or if you’re at all reluctant to do so for any reason. If anybody does donate
though, lmk your url if you want a personal thank you via ask! ❤
Binding is not safe. Long term, it is detrimental to your physical health. While the social and psychological benefits might outweigh the physical risks for many people, the choice to bind should be made with the understanding that the risks cannot be eliminated even with great care to ensure good fit and avoid overuse. Tightly compressing a large part of your body with many complex skeletal and muscular connections on a regular basis damages your body over time. Take off-days, wear the proper size from reputable makers, don’t sleep or exercise in them, and take them off as often as possible – all good advice that you absolutely must follow to be as safe as possible, but it’s impossible to guarantee that there will not be complications.
People tend to downplay the physical risks of binding because the payoff for self-confidence can be so profound. But seriously – even responsible binding is likely to cause complications ranging from sharp pains, nerve damage, dramatically decreased lung capacity, fluid buildup, skin issues, and back injury. Do not take it lightly just because it’s a piece of clothing that can be removed and does not need a doctor’s approval or informed consent to use.
If you must bind, be gentle with yourself. On your off-time, or if you choose not to bind at all, puffer vests are your new best friends. Seriously. Get your Marty McFly on. Not your style? Your loss, you unfashionable fool, but scarves, loose-fitting button-downs, and bomber jackets can help as well.
Okay shut the fuck up.
If it’s a decision between hurting myself but feeling confident, or killing myself because I don’t feel like I belong in my own body, I think I’d choose the former.
That’s your prerogative. I never told anyone NOT to wear a binder. However, it’s a major medical decision, and minimizing or dismissing the very real and common side-effects is not good for anyone, especially young people just beginning to transition. Like I said, sometimes the psychological benefits outweigh the physical costs – if not wearing a binder makes you suicidal, then clearly continuing to wear a binder is the correct decision for you.
The problem lies in presenting binders as a miracle solution that everyone can and should try if they are distressed by the appearance of their chest, or that only “incorrect” binding (as with ace bandages) poses any dangers. Some people may develop complications that make it impossible for them to continue binding. It is vitally important that people are aware of the potential harm before they begin and are able to make informed decisions by weighing their own priorities and exploring alternatives.
Unlike surgery or hormones, binders are not medically regulated and don’t require you to understand what you’re getting into. That means we have to look after each other, and in this case, that means being honest about safety.
Okay, now shut the fuck up twice. People are pushing the agenda, and have been pushing the agenda, for making studies about binding for YEARS. And some traito…. I mean, trans people, are advocating for it to happen, and advocating for medical personel to overlook trans person’s binding as a medical procedure in need of ‘professional regulating’. I don’t fucking care about you or your self-righteous quasi fight for ‘heath of trans people’, because it’s just gatekeeping, plain and simple. Now, get the fuck out off my face, you tool.
[Deep breath.]
I… really don’t know where to start with this. Are you suggesting that peer-reviewed scientific studies on the long-term effects of binding are a bad thing, and that trans people who want this information to exist are “traitors”? Is that honest-to-god what you’re saying here?
I’ve never met anyone advocating for binding to be “regulated”. If that’s what you think I’m saying, please read my post again. Binding can affect your body dramatically and irreversibly, and trans people deserve access to information about their health so that they can make informed decisions about their bodies.
Reliable information on trans health issues is virtually nonexistent because it hasn’t been widely formally studied over decades. It’s nearly impossible for trans people to make genuinely informed decisions about their health. If we cannot talk about the risks or are shushed for talking about our experiences, people get hurt and make decisions they may later regret. Just read through the notes on this post for many, many examples.
Hiding or downplaying the risks of binding, especially from young people, is wildly irresponsible. I have no respect for you at all if you think that it’s better for kids to accidentally hurt themselves because they aren’t aware of potential dangers, than to “gatekeep” by asking them to consider their options carefully before proceeding.
The nerve damage on my left shoulder blade that causes gentle hugs to be agonizing is not an “agenda”. The fact that I can no longer safely enter water deeper than my neck because my lungs and ribcage can only expand to a fraction of what they used to is not an “agenda”. The constant aches, the faint wheeze, the tissue degradation, the fact that I’m unable to truly pursue the active, outdoorsy life I hoped for until and unless I get a surgery I can’t afford? Not an “agenda” either. I’m lucky in that I can still bind routinely and function throughout the day.
I wish I had known what I know now before I started binding. Would I have made the decision to bind anyway? Yeah, I really think I would. But I am furious that no one hit me with hard truths beforehand so my decision could have truly been informed.
There’s a clear difference from educating people on the dangers not usually otherwise talked about to telling people what they should do, personally I thank you for furthering my knowledge on this topic and I will now take steps to preserve my wellbeing. Not saying I won’t wear it but knowing it’s possible medical issues will change the steps I take to self preservation. Thank you for helping me make more educated decisions.
The idea that racism will die out with the white baby boomers is a myth perpetuated by white millennials who do not want to take action and responsibility for calling out racism in their own generation. White millennials are not inherently less racist than white baby boomers and racism does not disappear with a generation. Racism is a construct that exists in all aspects of society, from politics to economics to social norms and activities. It can only be eradicated with constant and fervent dismantling of these powerful constructs in place and new generations must keep working at it. I’ve heard too many fellow white people say that when all these ‘racist old people’ die off then we’ll be fine but we all know that racism is not limited to old white people and that the alt-right is littered with white millennials. Check your friends and family on bigoted and racist remarks. Be a good ally. Sitting back for old people to die is not good allyship and you’ll soon see that they are not the only racists in power.
In short: Racism will not die on it’s own… we have to actively kill it.
Many of the educated middle class twenty something’s I went to uni with are a damn sight more racist that the elderly working class people my mum cares for.
I don’t think healthy people every really get chronic illness.
I have a friend I know from when we were both 6. She is the only person living nearby and so she saw me go from walking through limping to wheelchair on a daily basis. I keep her updated on my health even tho we rarely hang out anymore.
She was gonna come over yesterday and I had to cancel. She asked if I can’t hang out later that day. When I said i won’t feel better later, that if I feel that bad in the morning later will only get worse she got annoyed and “joked” that I’m just finding excuses. And I was surprised, she knows all about me being disabled after all? So, a bit taken aback, I told her it’s a normal thing for me.
“But you got the diagnosis now, aren’t you better?? I thought you’ll get better now”
She was honestly surprised and it made me realize a thing. They don’t get it. They don’t get that getting diagnosed only equals benefits like welfare or parking spot for us, and sometimes better pain meds but that is just like pushing luck. That it’s a forever thing. That that one day we felt good a week ago was just a bright spot and doesn’t mean we won’t need our aids anymore, cause chronic illness is not linear and will make a great comeback in next four hours, and the next good day is planned on when we’re 70.
Cause when abled people are sick, they get better. And our illness is just an excuse for them. And when we say we will never get better they think we’re being dramatic and pessimistic.
And I don’t think they’ll ever get it, cause to get it you need to live it.
And I want my friends to stay healthy and not go through hell.
This is definitely okay to reblog and abled people are encouraged to reblog cause maybe it’ll help others understand
Hello it’s me Lexa and this post is relevant again as I just had the Legit Same Talk with someone and I exhausted my number of fucks to give
Oh my god I literally had this conversation with my mother an hour ago.
Mum: “So yeah, I was thinking that when I come down we could do visit an art gallery or a museum or something.”
Me: “I’ll have to see if I’m up for it, I’ve been going through a rough patch. I might not have the energy.”
Mum: “But you love art galleries.”
Me: “I know. What part of ‘it hurts to walk long distances now’ is hard for you though?”
I routinely have people well aware of my disabilities/chronic illness congratulate me on how I “seem to be doing so much better these days!” on a good pain/energy day and then basically try to stage an intervention a week later on a bad one. “You seem to be on a decline lately, I’m just concerned you’re not taking care of yourself!” And then a week later on a good day again congratulate me on how I really seem to have improved and must be making a real effort to keep on top of my health, with no irony or self-awareness whatsoever.
The narrative of “getting better” is so ingrained that healthy abled people will ignore massive amounts of cognitive dissonance to apply it where it makes absolutely no sense.
I had this conversation with my best friend of over a decade, who first blamed my attitude and then tried to blame my mom, the only person who has been there for ALL of my illness and shouldered it with me. And I had to explain to her that she was being toxic, that that kind of thinking was just hurtful to me, because I need to control people who are trying to point fingers at what to blame /every day/. No, it’s not me, I am doing what I’m supposed to. No, it’s not my mom. No, it’s not this doctor.
And I understand why she wants to blame someone, because then there’s a cause and we can fix it. But what I needed her to get, and what a lot of abled people with chroncially ill friends need to get, is that THERE IS NO EASY FIX, AND BLAMING PEOPLE/THINGS TO TRY AND FIND ONE DOES NOT DO ANYTHING BUT MAKE THE CHRONICALLY ILL/DISABLED PERSON FEEL WORSE ABOUT THEMSELVES.
My mom was talking about this too, how we need to get the abled people in my life to understand that I will never be 100% and this is never going to go away.
aerodynamics are really important in cycling but the real technique there was taking his feet off the pedals. that bike has a fixed gear (if you notice, the pedals continue turning with the rotation of the wheel even while his feet aren’t on them), and hte video is taken on a slope, so the actual impediment to his speed wasn’t his wind resistance but the fact that he quite simply couldn’t pedal as fast as the bike wanted to go due to gravity, and so his pedaling motion was actually slowing him down. by taking his feet off the pedals, he allowed the bike to go down the hill a great deal faster than if he’d just kept pedaling normally.
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
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