what’s with the weird stigma that being closeted is okay but only if it would be physically unsafe for you to come out? coming out is YOUR business, if you know it would be fine & nothing would happen to you & nobody would care, but you don’t want to anyway, that’s your choice and it’s perfectly valid.

Also this is not binary. It can be physically safe, but endanger your job/education, your living situation, your professional or personal contacts. And sometimes you just don’t know if it does.

Do you ever just stop and think about how just being queer is immediately considered an action of deception and hiding? How weird is that, right? If a stranger walks into the room, suddenly I’m no longer out of the closet. I’ve taken no action to declare my identity one way or the other, but now I’m considered responsible for this stranger’s mis-assumption.

Coming out is continuous. You know that thing where two mirrors face each other and you can see infinite mirrors? Coming out is like walking down that mirror passage – there’s always another closet door after the one you’ve just opened, there’s always another person waiting to hold you responsible for their assumptions.

Fuck that noise. If it’s unsafe in any way for you to open the closet door, you don’t have to. If it’s completely and perfectly safe, you still don’t have to. You didn’t put that door there, you’re not responsible for anyone else’s judgments of you. Fuck that noise.

The only reason coming out exists as a concept is because society has codified heterosexuality as the default value.  Then instead of recognizing the absence of information as a null i.e. no value, an unknown orientation, we treat the absence of information as confirmation of the default value.  So unless otherwise specified, everyone is considered straight.  And further if a non-straight individual doesn’t actively work to challenge the default, society holds them accountable and calls it “deception.”  So I’ll reiterate from above- fuck that noise.  Just because society has established a shitty set of assumptions doesn’t mean you have to play that game.  Tell what you want to who you want and sleep well at night knowing you don’t owe anyone anything.

A Word of Warning to my UK-based Friends



You may not be aware of the charity Caudwell Children whom are a UK-based autism charity. They are basically the Autism $peaks of the United Kingdom.

They are holding a campaign called “Locked In For Autism” and it is disgusting and not driven by #ActuallyAutistic people.

Unlike the National Autistic Society, whom has changed their stances and not used much ableist language, they are relying on parents’ experiences.
The box is allegedly a metaphor for how locked in we are.
We are not “locked into our world”.

This is not to mention that this charity has sided with anti-vaccine supporters, and funds harmful ABA therapy. It is also run by a millionaire. This charity is horrifically harmful and we need to stop this harmful campaign.

You can read more about the charity and how it is ableist here.

Without your help, we may not be able to stop this campaign – because they are not listening.

If you are in the UK, you should phone them on 01782 600 867 and tell them you are extremely unhappy with this campaign as an autistic person. I have attached a script below;

Hi there. I’m an autistic person and I am telephoning to say that I am extremely unhappy with your Locked In For Autism campaign. It is mainly parent-run, and neurotypical adults cannot speak for us. They do not know anything about our actual experiences.

You are also implying that we are “locked in”, and we absolutely are not. You may think “severely” autistic people are, but there is no such thing as “severely” autistic.

I am telling you to stop this campaign immediately. It is extremely harmful to us. You are not spreading acceptance for us – you are trying to make people “aware” of us and that is not what we want.

Please also cease fundraising for ABA therapy. It is horrifically harmful, and erases a person for who they are. Many harmful autism charities support this practice and it is not acceptable. It needs to stop.

Thank you for your time.

If you are not in the UK, or otherwise are not capable of reaching them over the phone, email with how unhappy you are. This is the man in charge of the campaign, most likely – and he will hear all of your comments. You can also @ the supermarket chain Tesco on Twitter (@Tesco) where the Locked In events are taking place to express your dismay at these disgusting events.

Please take some time today to help stop this harmful campaign going on. We cannot have another country that has Autism $peaks rhetoric spreading through it.

Even if you’re neurotypical, we’d appreciate your help in stopping yet another harmful organisation erasing our voices.

@strangerdarkerbetter @sbroxman-autisticquestions @butterflyinthewell

Here’s a link to the Washington Posts’s updating ‘whip count’ of Republican senators on the new TrumpCare bill.


You can go here to check who’s a ‘no,’ who’s a ‘yes,’ and who’s waffling.

Currently, there are two Senators ready to vote ‘no’ on bringing the thing to a vote (Susan Collins from Maine and Rand Paul from Kentucky), one from each faction (Collins from the ‘moderates,’ Paul from the hard-liners). 

Potential third ‘no’s are:

Shelley Capito (R-West Virginia)

Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska)

Rob Portman (R0-Ohio)

Dean Heller (R-Arizona)

Ben Sasse (R-Nebraska)

Bill Cassidy (R-Louisiana)

Bob Corker (R-Tennessee)

Heller, Capito, and Murkowski came out against the last version. So if you’re from one of these states and you want to put a stake through this fucking thing’s heart, today’s a good day to call your Senator!












Continuing on with my viewing theme I stumbled on a how-to tutorial for “chemical free soap” (it’s soap, silly, the whole thing is a chemical process. Call it what it is, synthetic free.), and the woman who claims to be an “expert” just smeared pure essential oil neat onto her skin because she “just loves this stuff” and I don’t think I’ll ever stop screaming.

Ya dont ever put essential oil neat onto the skin. That’s how ya get chemical burns, ya fucking edjit.

Oh god tell me it wasn’t cinnamon or clove oil.

How did you guess (:



Systlin, what are your opinions on those young living essential oil things? My sister-in-law just started hawking that shit and I’m getting the don’t-touch-it-with-a-ten-foot-pole feeling from the whole thing.

It’s overpriced garbage.

Okay. I’m sure the oils themselves are fine, but you can get a better quality product for ¼ the price at any reputable seller of essential oils. Go buy Now foods brand on Amazon. Don’t touch the young living oils, they’re an overpriced pyramid scheme.


For what it’s worth, I also get migraines from the Young Living oils, which is indicative that they’re not actually pure essential oil and something synthetic is going on, despite what they claim so I wouldn’t even put them in a carrier oil to put them on my skin. Just in case anyone else has the same sensitivities I have and was thinking of trying them.

I FUCKIN KNEW THEY CUT THAT SHIT WITH SYNTHETICS I FUCKIN KNEW IT okay I didn’t know for sure but I suspected heavily

Young living is trash go buy some good stuff for a fraction of the price.

@thebibliosphere Believe it or not, my former colleague sells young living and Gary Young came here so I went to an event, thinking it would be learning about what different oils did for different things. It was my BFF date night, so she and I went together.

After we left (before the end because she had to get home to trade kid shifts with her husband, thank GOD) I turned to her in the car and apologized for taking her to a cult meeting.

Because honestly? It was horrifyingly cultish. And his claims about using his oils in his medical clinic to cure cancerous tumours, among other things, were so dangerous.

I did some digging, after, and if you look up “Gary Young” and “fraud”, buried beneath all the Young Living pages so it does not show up if you just look at his name, it is appalling. His degree in naturopathic medicine is from an unaccredited university that just mails you whatever degree you want to pay for. He ran a medical clinic in Mexico claiming graduation he’s never achieved (and later said it was a typo). He has practiced medicine without a license (or degree). He was arrested for assaulting his family with an axe in 1994. It goes on and on.

I did suggest to my colleague she might want to research, but she was all, “I know, misunderstanding and what not, blah blah”.

Because it is totally like a cult. With Gary Young as the charismatic, maybe even delusional leader.

(To this day, everyone once and a while I go to my best friend, “remember that time I accidentally took you to a cult meeting?”)

I think I remember you telling me about that, I didn’t realize it was Youngs though. Ooft, boy. Yep, sounds like a pyramid cult scheme to me.

Sous-titrer des vidéos pour réduire la stigmatisation des troubles psy (besoin d’aide)


En tant que Française souffrant de troubles psychologiques, j’ai beaucoup cherché sur Internet des ressources sur le sujet. J’avais besoin à la fois d’explications de professionnels pour comprendre ce que je vivais, et de témoignages d’individus lambda pour me rassurer et pour découvrir comment les autres vivaient leur(s) trouble(s) et leur guérison. Tant que je faisais mes recherches en anglais, j’avais accès à un contenu varié, fourni et sérieux. Mais dès que je suis passée au français, le nombre de vidéos a drastiquement diminué, en même temps que leur qualité et leur diversité. Une grande partie, sinon la majorité, des vidéos parlant de santé mentale était produite par des professionnels ou des compagnies d’assurance, et étaient souvent trop longues ou trop peu pédagogiques pour un public non averti (bien qu’il existe quelques chaînes de grande qualité comme Le PsyLab ou Va te faire suivre).

J’ai été frappée de ce que ça impliquait pour une personne ne parlant pas anglais : quelqu’un cherchant à se renseigner sur ses problèmes psychologiques, à aider un proche ou simplement à satisfaire sa curiosité, cela lui sera très difficile, et il ne sera pas exposé à des représentations diverses des formes que peuvent prendre les troubles psychologiques et leurs conséquences. C’est aussi un obstacle à la réduction de la stigmatisation de la maladie psychologique.

Bien sûr, ce constat doit encourager les vidéastes de tous pays à s’exprimer sur ce sujet, et à partager leurs expériences. En attendant, une solution pratique existe : les sous-titres. Avec l’aide de personnes parlant plusieurs langues, une vidéo peut être accessible partout dans le monde. Cela aide aussi les personnes sourdes ou malentendantes, qui ne sont pas assez prises en compte dans ce type de contenu.
C’est donc pourquoi je lance ce projet : rassembler des gens volontaires pour sous-titrer et traduire des vidéos sur les troubles psychologiques. Si ce projet vous intéresse, contactez-moi (laissez un ask, envoyez-moi un message, commentez ce post…) et je vous donnerai plus d’informations. Juste quelques petites infos basiques pour commencer : nous travaillerions sur des vidéos YouTube autorisant les sous-titres (comme celles de Kati Morton, de CrashCourse, du PsyLab…). J’ai créé une équipe Trello pour faciliter notre coopération, ainsi qu’un groupe Facebook. Même si vous ne voulez pas participer, s’il vous plaît, rebloguez ce post. Je me permets d’identifier quelques personnes qui pourraient vouloir le rebloguer et le booster (mais je ne vous mets pas du tout la pression 😉 ).  @onestenrepublique (puisqu’il me semble que tu avais dit qu’on pouvait te demander de booster des projets militants) @payetamaladiementale @maladementhaleau

(there’s also an English post right after this one on my blog if you don’t speak French)

Captions for Mental Health Awareness (help needed!!)



As a French mentally ill person, I have often looked for online content about psychological disorders and mental health in general. I needed both professional expertise to understand what I was going through, and personal testimonies to relate to. When I looked for videos in English, I was purveyed with plenty of quality content, from truly diverse sources. But as soon as I switched to my native language, the number of videos was drastically reduced, and so did the quality and accessibility of the content. Most of the videos tackling mental health were produced by professionals or insurance companies and were either too long or too complicated for an average person to understand or be interested in.

I was then stricken by what that meant for non-English speakers (assuming that the situation in other countries can be similar to the one here): someone who wanted information about their struggles, to help a loved one, or simply to satisfy their curiosity, wouldn’t be able to do so, or with difficulty and wouldn’t be subjected to diverse representations of what mental illness or its impacts look like. This also makes it harder to reduce the stigma revolving around mental illness.
Obviously, this means that we should encourage content creators of every country and language to share their knowledge and experience in their native language. Meanwhile, one practical solution exists: subtitles. With the help of people speaking two or more languages, one video can be accessible throughout the world. It also helps deaf and hard of hearing people, who are not taken enough into account in the production of such content.  

That’s why I’m launching this project: to gather people who are willing to caption and translate videos related to mental health. If you are interested in this project, please contact me (drop an ask, message me, comment this post…) and I will give you more information. Just so you know: we would work on YouTube videos that allow subtitles (from content creators such as Kati Morton, CrashCourse, khan academy, LikeKristen…). I have made a Trello board to facilitate our cooperation, as well as a facebook group. If you are not interested, please boost this post. I’ll just tag a few people who I think might be interested in boosting this, but feel no pressure if I tagged you: @feminismandmedia @katimorton @andreashettle @disabilityinkidlit @youthmentalhealthposts @awarenessofmentalhealthissu-blog @mentalhealthawareness-blog @mental-health-advice @spread-awareness-and-love @psiety @neurodivergent-media @mentalhealthinschools-blog @antipromia

Signal boosting

@captionedwebtv  @accessibledeedadee @captioned-miscellaneous-videos