npr:

Raising teenage girls can be a tough job. Raising black teenage girls as white parents can be even tougher. Aaron and Colleen Cook knew that when they adopted their twin daughters, Mya and Deanna.

As spring came around this year, the girls, who just turned 16, told their parents they wanted to get braided hair extensions. Their parents happily obliged, wanting Mya and Deanna to feel closer to their black heritage.

But when the girls got to school, they were asked to step out of class. Both were given several infractions for violating the dress code. Mystic Valley Regional Charter School, north of Boston, bans hair extensions in its dress code, deeming them “distracting.”

When administrators asked the girls to remove their braids, Mya and Deanna refused.

When Black Hair Violates The Dress Code

Illustration: Mai Ly Degnan for NPR

Funny how it also keeps being charter schools pulling this stuff.

Oh wait… Having It Both Ways: How Charter Schools Try to Obtain Funding of Public Schools and the Autonomy of Private Schools

Times are tough, I sing a song for my supper.

vaspider:

vaspider:

So, most of you know that @dadhoc  unexpectedly lost his job right after Lex died last year – and in fact exactly because Lex died. They fired him because he took a day off from work when he’d been up all night at the emergency vet with his dog, finally having to make the decision to put him down.

@dadhoc’s gotten work again, but between being out of work, his new job being ethically better but currently paying him literally less than half what his old job did, and my disability limiting my work hours, plus the fact that what was supposed to be ‘pay your deductible and we’ll fix your house’ turned into ‘lol jk you’re 10K in debt now’ – things are getting – well.

Really tough. We’re not yet scarily falling behind, but things are becoming a little nerve-wracking. My last paycheck, after I paid for our health care, was $30. That’s not a typo. It’s not typical, but it’s not a typo.

Between my various social media sites, I put in enough time answering questions, acting as support, and writing up resources for it to be a second job for me. I do it because I love it, and because I love our community, but it’d also be awesome if my labor could turn into cash money. 

If you appreciate what I do, please consider buying me a coffee, or if you don’t like Ko-fi, sending something my way on PayPal. My Patreon will be going live tomorrow, at which time you will also have the option of paying me money for stories about socialist space lesbians and separately a Jewish scholar in a fantasy world based on Mongolia and also about a demisexual middle-aged wizard, her partner, and their trans apprentice. I just have to decide which one I want to plow through first. 

If every one of my followers could toss a dollar in the kitty, I’d have enough money to be sure we’d be tided over to when things should pick up for @dadhoc, and maybe even make some of the desperately-needed safety-related repairs to our house, which have been put off and put off. 

Even better, if you’d like to hire me to write something for you, edit, proofread, speak or sensitivity read for you? I am for hire. I also have an Etsy shop, and if you don’t see something you like in my current stock, hit me up for something custom. Any of my pride kippot can be modified into beanies if you want a Pride item but are not Jewish. 

Thanks – and please  boost this either way. ❤ 

So I hate to bring this up to the fore again, but here we are.

We are in scary territory right now. @dadhoc got a different job, finally, and we might be okay if we can make it to September, but the thing is, we gotta make it to September. 

I haven’t talked about this a lot, but my job found an excuse to get rid of me, in a way that may or may not be legal because it may be a disability law violation but I don’t have the money to fight and they know that, and are now contesting my unemployment. If they rule against me, I’ll have to repay everything I’ve been paid since May 26th. (Yeah, they fired me right before my birthday.) Between that and the fact that dadhoc isn’t ramped up at his new job and is making just over minimum wage until he does? We’ve eaten through most of our savings paying bills and the mortgage for the last couple months.

(We do, for the moment, have medical assistance, so that much is covered. For now. Hooray Medicaid.)

My in-laws helped me to get a new sewing machine so that I can provide more awesome stuff at my Etsy shop, and I’ve branched out from Judaica to Pride items. 

So if you like what I do? Consider hiring me, consider buying something from my Etsy shop (I do custom work!), consider buying me a coffee or becoming a Patron or tossing some money in my PayPal tip jar

Please, and thank you. I just gotta make it to September, and then hopefully dadhoc’s new job will pick up. 

itsdeadtome:

aphobephobe:

Ok, so I’m a little bit sick of the “asexuality is no longer medicalized” attitude a lot of people have taken recently, specifically in regards to asexuality and HSDD.

So, yeah, asexuality was officially given an exception in the DSM-V. 

That’s a huge step from before, when you could be diagnosed with HSDD simply for being asexual and having interpersonal difficulties because of it.

But, there’s still a couple problems.

 1: The patient has to self identify as asexual. Combined with visibility issues, you may get people who feel “broken” and distressed because of their asexuality, people who may be okay with identifying as ace if they knew about it. That’s one of the reasons we need to keep fighting for visibility. 

2. Here’s the kicker though. The asexuality exception is not included in the diagnostic criteria, but a different part of the text. The desk reference version, which is the smaller version most psychiatrists will use because the actual DSM is a monster of a book, only contains the diagnostic criteria. So, unless a doctor is very familiar with the update DSM, you could still be diagnosed despite identifying as asexual. Obviously, that’s a big fucking problem.

Now, wait up a second. The DSM is put out by the APA, an American organization.

So….it’s probably not used internationally. The international appx. equivalent to the DSM is the ICD (International Classification of Diseases). The current version is ICD-10, although ICD-11 appears to be poised to come out in 2018.

So, let’s explore HSDD in the ICD.

F52.0 Lack or loss of sexual desire 

Loss of sexual desire is the principal problem and is not secondary to other sexual
difficulties, such as erectile failure or dyspareunia. Lack of sexual desire does not
preclude sexual enjoyment or arousal, but makes the initiation of sexual activity
less likely.

Includes: 

   frigidity

   hypoactive sexual desire disorder.

found here.

A disorder characterized by a recurrent or persistent lack of desire for sexual activity. The lack of sexual desire is not attributable to another psychiatric disorder or to the physiological effects of substance use or a general medical condition.

found here.

The American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV TR)4 and the World Health Organization’s International Classifications of Disease-10 (ICD-10)5 established that the definition of hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) should include not only the lack or absence of sexual fantasies or desire for any form of sexual activity, but also the presence of personal distress and/or interpersonal difficulties.

found here.

So, I’m noticing a very distinct lack of the “asexuality exception” (yes I’m calling it that) in here. Combined with the “interpersonal difficulties” criterion, I’m not seeing much difference between this and the DSM IV. 

Ok, so if an asexual were to get diagnosed, how do they treat it?

Some women also benefit from counseling or sex therapy. Specialists can help them cope with any past sexual trauma. They can help women improve their self-esteem and understand their relationships with their partners. Women can learn how to talk about sex with confidence and express their needs and concerns to their partners. They might also introduce ways to make intimacy a bigger priority – and more interesting.

from here.

The use of testosterone appears to have a direct role in sexual desire and has been shown to increase desire, but its long-term use is limited by potential side effects, including cardiovascular and liver dysfunction. 

Antidepressants may help depression-related low desire, although many of these medications decrease sexual desire, at least initially.

Nonetheless, estrogens replacement therapy has been shown to correlate positively with sexual activity, enjoyment and fantasies.

When no causative medical disorder is found, individual or couples therapy is often recommended.

from here.

Yeah. So, my point here is not to freak anyone out (although I know I am a little bit). My point here is that while we should celebrate our victories, this is something that’s flown a little bit under the radar that we probably need to keep talking about, finding solutions for, and then campaigning about these issues.

If you’ve got more to add to this post, I’d love to see it. However, I am going to ask that we don’t discourse on this post. I know. I’m a discourse blog asking for no discourse. Just please, for once, let’s not.

Anyways. On that cheery note, I’m done. 

Another thing to note, some non-american countries also use the DSM (Hi from Canada) but will often not update as fast as it is changed. Without outing anyone I do know of people who have been diagnosed with disorders removed from the DSM several years after the new DSM had been published, this difference often depends on the medical colleges in the country and other factors including money, and how standardized psychiatric care is in a region.

A step in the right direction? Sure

Making it safe for any individual Asexual person to say they are Asexual in front of a mental health professional? Nope not at all.