On stick-charts, the sticks represent wave patterns and shells mark the atolls. Marshall Islands, Micronesia, May 1967.Photograph by Walter Meayers Edwards, National Geographic
Did that cat just turn into a dog with a single button press?
witchcraft
The thing that most haunted me that day, however…was the fact that these things had – apparently – actually occurred…For all his attention to my historical education, my father had neglected to tell me this: history’s terrible moments were real. I understand now, decades later, that he could never have told me. Only history itself can convince you of such a truth. And once you’ve seen that truth – really seen it – you can’t look away.
Elizabeth Kostova, The Historian (via quoted-books)
puritans: oh no people in england will not let us close all the playhouses and force everyone to wear underwear made of steel wool and generally dictate everything about what everyone else does. we must away to the new world where we can oppress people as much as we want
american history books: RELIGIOUS FREEDOM!
jews & all other Actually Oppressed religious groups: [look directly into the camera]
my grandparents have to lock their car doors when they go to sunday mass because people have been breaking in to unlocked cars and leaving entire piles of zucchini
i feel like i should’ve added more context when i posted this. my grandparents live in a rural area where farmers and casual gardeners alike are, at this point in the year, suddenly being hit with unexpectedly abundant zucchini crops. there aren’t just some random vandals leaving zucchinis in people’s cars for the hell of it, this is the work of some very exasperated, probably very elderly, folks who have more zucchini than they know what to do with
Yep. You can also expect to find a bag of zucchini on your porch.
My grandfather once found his neighbor stealing his tomatoes out of his garden at three in the morning. Red-handed, with a basket of the nearly-ripened ones. He thought he was going to find gophers or something, but no, here’s Henry, taking his tomatoes. The best ones.
There was a long pause between them.
My grandfather (allegedly) said, “Henry… it’s OK. You can take some tomatoes if you want them.”
Henry sighed in relief.
“But,” my grandfather said, “you have to take two zucchini for every tomato.”
There was another long silence. “That’s a harsh bargain, John,” said Henry. “But I accept. I’ll tell Joe up the street, too.”
My grandfather said, “Tell Joe he needs to take three.”
a friend of my dad’s came by in the middle of the night, he seemed very nervous when my dad answered the door. he wouldn’t come inside but he leaned in and whispered to my dad in spanish, “i have some fresh grapes for you.” and then this happened:
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
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