my friend has one of those really deep wells (like 4 ft deep!) outside of her bedroom window bc her room’s in the basement so any time it rains a bunch of frogs end up trapped down there and I climb down to get them out.
and after a while I noticed that some animal (probably a raccoon) takes its food down there to eat for whatever reason, so there are a bunch of skulls and bones. I have special permission to collect skulls for educational purposes and deliver them to certain people, so now I grab those too.
Well today I climbed down in, found three frogs, and five skulls. So I’m climbing out of this pit with a frog and a ziploc bag full of animal bones and suddenly the fattest pug and boston terrier I’ve ever seen both come over barking
and the neighbor comes over to see what’s going on. and I have these bones and these frogs and I’m like “uh, hey!”
just got my. bag of skulls.
and she says “oh! they told me about you, hahaha! are the frogs okay?”
I’m glad this is my legacy.
it’s worth noting I have to like, put my arms on either side of the well and use my upper body to lower myself into it and then I like duck down and disappear so it HAS to look weird from a distance, no matter HOW many skulls or frogs I come out with.
So, the good news is, I got my dream job, which starts in September, and the salary and benefits are good, and they’re even giving me a little bit of money to relocate from my current city to the city where the job is. The bad news is, thanks to a series of unfortunate situations, I ended up having to move into a new place just for the month of August, which is $200 more expensive than my other place was, doesn’t have laundry on suite, and have no food in the fridge here and no coins to take to the laundromat. My paypal.me is here, my paypal email is lingeringdreamer@gmail.com, help a disabled Indigenous autistic two-spirit pay their rent and survive until September!!
So, the good news is, I got my dream job, which starts in September, and the salary and benefits are good, and they’re even giving me a little bit of money to relocate from my current city to the city where the job is. The bad news is, thanks to a series of unfortunate situations, I ended up having to move into a new place just for the month of August, which is $200 more expensive than my other place was, doesn’t have laundry on suite, and have no food in the fridge here and no coins to take to the laundromat. My paypal.me is here, my paypal email is lingeringdreamer@gmail.com, help a disabled Indigenous autistic two-spirit pay their rent and survive until September!!
I felt like I needed to clarify some things before we could continue any more conversations on this godforsaken website.
I’m very proud of the European Robin, I think I really captured it.
this is a very accurate birb agenda illustration
European robin is LOVE and I never really thought robins in other countries wouldn’t be like our robins, because they’re cute balls of fluff and rage and I just took a pic of one of them yesterday here, have,
also one with my coworker for scale (we were both taking pics bcs we’re cute bird lovers) (all animals, really) (actually I didn’t mean for her to be in the pic but well it happened) (our uniforms suck) (we were crouching) BABY BIRB U R NOT A BABY BUT U R MY BABY LET ME HUG YOU PLS
Wait, Robins aren’t the same everywhere?!
They should be, but they aren’t! Colonists in North America named the native birds “robins” after the ones they knew in Europe, but the birds aren’t related at all, they just both have red chests.
For further astonishment:
* the 1964 film Mary Poppins is supposedly set in London, but the fake bird that young Julie Andrews holds is actually an American robin (Turdus migratorious)
* the American robin lays spectacular turquoise blue eggs, thus the term “robin’s egg blue.” This is meaningless in Europe, where robin’s eggs are beige. A paler, greener version in the UK is called “duck egg blue”.
* the “rocking robin” and the “red red robin [who] comes bob bob bobbing along” are American robins.
* Robin from Batman was probably named after Robin Hood, although he does have a red shirt.
* the meaning of the name “Robin” is just short for “Robert.” The bird in England was historically called the Redbreast, but in England in Ye Old Days there was a trend for giving nicknames to animals. Thus, Jack Daw, Jenny Wren, and Robin Redbreast are now the names of birds in English. Now, we mostly call them “robins” and drop the “redbreast” most of the time.
* There may be a pleasing synergy with Robin Goodfellow, aka Puck and Hob Goblin, the Elvish mascot and primal spirit of England. But probably not intentional
* But basically Robin Hood, Robin Goodfellow, Robin from Batman, and American/European robins are all just named after that one guy. Robert. What a legend
Anyway so I’m calling Rep. Farenthold later to accept on Sen. Collin’s behalf and I’m choosing Fists. Can take place in Iowa because if two parties agree to mutual combat, under state law it is totally legal here.
And if he accepts yes I will stream that shit live don’t be silly.
And after I beat his ass once for Collins, I will duel him again on Murkowski’s behalf.
Square up, bitch.
OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH GOD CSPAN BOUT TO BE LIT
Submitted
SO I CALLED HIS DC OFFICE AND SAID BASICALLY THE SAME THING I SENT VIA EMAIL.
After about 20 seconds of dead silence, the staffer let out kinda a little laugh and said “Well ma’m, I’ll be happy to pass on your…”
“I’m not joking.”
“Ma’m?”
“You think I’m joking. I am dead serious. You want my address? Or I’ll meet him at the airport. I am absolutely serious about this. Oh, and as the challenged party, I get to pick weapons. I choose fists.”
Another 20 seconds of somehow even deeper silence.
“I…I’ll pass your challenge on to the congressman.”
“No. He issued the challenge. I’m accepting. Unless he’s backing out like the spineless coward he is.”
More silence. “I…I’ll let Congressman Farenthold know, ma’m.”
“You do that.”
ANYWAY SO HOW DID YOU ALL SPEND YOUR LUNCH BREAK TODAY.
Also if anyone wants to contact Farenthold via email or phone and ask when he’s going to man up and meet me on the field of honorable combat I would owe you one, particularly if you’re in Texas.
Okay so I called. Intern didn’t even hesitate anymore. Just asked me my method of dual (I chose fencing) and after taking my contact info (which I flubbed the numbers on) told me he’d pass it on.
Excellent.
Did you ever knooow that you’re my heeeerooooo *serenades*
I hereby nominate Joy to hold up the boombox (or, since this is 2017, the Iphone) and play the fight music from the Pon Farr episode of Star Trek while I apply a rear naked choke to Farenthold.
You can count on me, boss.
I somehow knew you’d have a link to this song within 25 seconds.
@gabriel-wolfe-wordsmith is going to sell popcorn and I think someone else offered to make commemorative t-shirts.
The Washington number to ask him when he’ll land in Iowa to meet me is 202-225-7742, BTW
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
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