Day: June 26, 2018

startingwithstars:

swingandswirl:

italeteller:

setmyfaceonfire:

Don’t invalidate people’s struggles because you’ve been through worse. If someone is tired after working for 5 hours and you worked for 7, it doesn’t mean that they’re not allowed to be tired. It doesn’t mean they can’t feel what they’re feeling just because you’ve had it worse.

don’t play pain olympics. don’t be that person

Best thing my therapist ever told me: ‘Just because someone else’s leg is broken doesn’t mean your sprained ankle can’t hurt.’

It works the other way, too. Don’t be a dick just because you don’t think other people haven’t suffered enough. 

The tragic thing is that there’s this opportunity for connection. Rather than one upmanship or “I know how you feel” you can instead share in the common experience to know you can mutually support each other. But so often people instead choose to drive a deeper wedge between themselves and others.

butchimzadi:

sex is not supposed to be about what you can tolerate!!!!! sex is supposed to be about what you genuinely want and enjoy!!!!! and if you’re traumatized and/or not straight, believe me, I know it’s not that simple to figure out what it is that you actually want and enjoy.

you’re not a bad person if you do something that you don’t particularly enjoy because, for example, it makes your partner happy, but always remember: you have no obligation to engage in sexual activities that you don’t fully like and enjoy. 

and you don’t ever, ever need to justify that – if your partner has an issue with “It makes me kind of uncomfortable” or “I don’t really like it”, then that person does not deserve a moment of your time, in or outside of the bedroom. you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone; you don’t have to meet anyone’s standards of acceptable vs. unacceptable activity (or lack thereof); you don’t have to force yourself to be comfortable with something because of any perceived political connotations of performing or refusing that act.

saying yes because you feel guilty about saying no is not consent. saying yes because you’re scared of what will happen if you say no is not consent. saying yes because you figure you might as well just endure it is not consent. sex ed on here and elsewhere doesn’t give a single shit about traumatized people and I wish someone had told me all of this a lot sooner.