My name is Lisa.

I’m five foot nine. My hair is long and it’s dark brown. I wear leather a great deal, high boots always, and sometimes glove-soft vests and even leather skirts now and then, and I wear lace, especially when I can find the kind I like: intricate, very old-fashioned lace, snow white. I have light skin that tans easily, large breasts, and long legs. And though I don’t feel beautiful and never have, I know that I am. If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be a trainer at The Club.

Exit to Eden by Anne Rice (aka Rampling), 1985

Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

My Immortal by Tara Gilesbie, 2006

#g o d#that can’t be a real Anne rice quote

*”Rampling” was Rice’s pseudonym while she was writing erotica, mainly for this and the Sleeping Beauty quartet

i mean ….

lestat is on the my immortal train too lol

Anne Rice hates fanfiction! My Immortal is a satire of fanfiction about the fiction from an author who hates fanfiction. This makes everything even better.


This is just more evidence that you could teach a full semester course on My Immortal.

Add this to the ‘My Immortal was a troll all along’ evidence pile

I am absurdly, pettily happy that it’s Anne Rice getting slammed with the My Immortal comparisons.

(Is it me or does “My Immortal” sound very like the sort of title an Anne Rice book would have?)

Have we considered the possibility that Anne Rice actually wrote My Immortal?

:: squints ::

Y’know, the theory of Anne Rice having written My Immortal is nowhere NEAR as cracky as her last book was …

I didn’t know what the hell “My Immortal” was referring to for a long time and I just ASSUMED it was an Anne Rice novel by all the quotes I saw. 

Anne Rice being the secret author of My Immortal is actually… not a bad theory? I mean, we know she HATES fanfiction, but also seeks it out (at least well enough to sue them) so she has some knowledge of fandom and probably of some of the styles/themes of the time. I could totally see her writing My Immortal in the dead of night, trying to wrap up every single thing she hates about fanfiction in one terribly-written package.

And she would never own up to it. EVER.




Speaking of isopods: you probably all know about the giant isopod (Bathynomus giganteus). Yknow, the one that looks like this:

Well today I learned about another giant isopod species, the Antarctic giant isopod (Glyptonotus antarcticus). And it fucked me up.


What is up with those gigantic fucking legs?!

No way this is real. This is not real. This is a meme animal. Its legs are the size of its entire body this isn’t right


On my way to steal your stuff, NYEH NYEH NYEH

Oh my fucking god this is wonderful

my psych prof used to work in the gov and had to do a routine security check on hillary clinton during the election, and my prof showed up to her office wearing open toed heels and hillary’s security guy pulled her aside and said “can u change ur shoes. please don’t make me tell you why.” and my prof was like “no lmao i’ll wear whatever i want” so the security guy had to tell her that hillary didn’t like other women wearing open toed shoes when bill was around cause he has a thing for feet





I don’t care if this is true, it’s funny.