Thinking again that the main reason I have run into so many problems trying to deal with the NHS that I’m currently just having to go without treatment for some serious health problems is probably a combo deal.

Mainly consisting of (a) more things working against me wrt discrimination, and (b) much less/not as effective support available as a disabled foreigner trying to navigate an unfamiliar system. Set up so that it’s much harder to just find someone else to see who might treat you more like an actual person, rather than a weird and exasperating waste of increasingly limited time and resources.

Add in © getting sicker making it harder for your autistic ass to even hold onto communicative speech on a normal day–much less in a more stressful situation–and that can further complicate just about anything.

(And I have to say that the current state of the US healthcare system likely does not help with some perceptions there. On a couple of fronts. Kinda tying in with the too-popular scapegoating of “NHS tourists” as somehow responsible for the austerity undrrfunding mess. People working in the system are not magically exempt.)

At least I am less inclined to blame myself for all of the difficulties now, while well aware that probably 90%+ of people not facing the same combination of garbage totally would. Still very short on feasible workarounds, though.

thebibliosphere:

angryschnauzer:

unicorns-and-fairy-dust:

thebibliosphere:

thebibliosphere:

It’s wild to me, the people who are willing to stan things like big pharma and health insurance companies in the US like somehow the cost of things isn’t arbitrary and absolutely made for profit.

Just saw a comment that said “I don’t think people realize how expensive health care actually is, it’s not like pill companies are out to make a profit” like, I’m sorry, my migraine meds which I can get for free or for a significantly lower cost in nearly every other country in the world, would cost me $120 per month in the US if I chose to fill the prescription. And yes, that’s generic. And yes, that’s with health insurance. My health insurance doesn’t cover them.

My epi pens, a literal life saving rescue med, if I can’t get a generic non auto-injector or if I don’t have a coupon, can cost me $600 per pen. And you’re supposed to carry two and replace them yearly.

For that price I can literally fly home to the UK for two weeks and have them replaced for free (I’m a UK citizen before anyone gets their knickers in a bunch about freeloading scroungers), and still have an extra $100-400 to play with depending on the time of year I fly out.

I literally plan trips home based around when my meds need refilled, because it’s works out cheaper than trying to get a pharmacy in the US that takes my insurance and provides generic non automated adrenaline pens.

That’s fucked up.

And it is absolutely because health insurance companies and “big pharma” are in cahoots over how much profit they want to make from tragic events and debilitating illnesses. Meanwhile people die cause it’s a choice between food for their kids or insulin for their diabetes.

But go off I guess.

Another thing that ticks me off is people who go “oh just get new insurance if yours is too expensive” like I didn’t already think of that, and am also not restricted with who will cover me because I’m an immigrant.

Cause oh yeah, that’s a thing.

Anyone that says “well immigrants come here to get free healthcare” are absolutely talking out of their asses.

“Oh but we meant the illegals…” except you cannot get Medicaid or state equivalent without an official alien green card number??? So that’s false???

“But I heard…” well ya heard wrong.

Free health care is such a weird phenomenon to me.

We have state clinics, which are cheaper than private hospitals. You still pay for your treatment though. Medical insurance is ridiculously expensive, and not a “Benefit” with most jobs in my country. You’re lucky if you land that gig.

My husband tore a ligament a year back, we carted him off to the state hospital, he sat in line for 9 hours, had a quick xray to confirm and was sent home with aspirin. That was the extent of the help he got.

I had my wisdom teeth removed in a private hospital. I’m deathly allergic to tramal, which is the painkiller they inject you with after you come out of surgery. Noted on my chart and medical alert bracelet. I felt confident that the doctors wouldn’t inject me with the thing that could kill me.

I guessed wrong.

If I hadn’t asked the doctor what he was injecting me with ( still high on anaesthetic, fyi) he would have killed me. Do you know what he said to me when I told him I was allergic? “HOW allergic?” 😐.

Pharma companies, healthcare in general? No one cares. Pay, don’t pay. You’re going to suffer regardless. All that matters is how much money they can make off of you.

‘Free’ healthcare isnt all its made out to be. The british NHS will do everything they can to blame YOU for anything that is wrong or that you need treatment for. If your BMI is over the optimim 18 to 25 points you’re screwed. Flu? Too fat. Broken Ankle? Too fat. Polycystic Ovaries? Too fat. Asthma? Too fat. Everything you would not have if you lost weight. Oh you have despression and are self harming? Well if you lost weight… do you see where this is going?

Also prescriptions; in Scotland and Wales prescriptions are free. But in England unless you have a medical exemption card you’re paying. I have asthma and regularly have to replace my inhalers for various reason; lose them, break them, they run out. I earn less than £7k a year so i earn less than someone who claims benefits. The one exception is if they are what are classed as ‘life saving drugs’ you dont have to pay.

Doc: If you dont carry your inhaler and have an attack you’re screwed and could die.

Me: Oh ok. So can i get a medical exemption card? These things are getting expensive.

Doc: Nope

Me: But you said if i dont have my inhaler i could die from an asthma attack.

Doc: Exemption cards are only for Life Saving Drugs.

Me: But you just said i have to carry my inhaler or else i could die. It could literally save my life.

Doc: Nope. Inhalers arent considered life saving drugs.

Me: but…

Oh and lets get onto mental health care. I was diagnosed with post natal depression after i lost my first child. That then turned into the fairly rarely diagnosed pre-natal depression when i was pregnant with Superpup.

After he was born the trauma of his birth and the isolation that came with being a new mother tipped me back into severe post natal depression again. I found the strength to seek help and my GP referred me to a state shrink…

I walk into his office and before i’ve even sat down he comments that he wished new mums didnt bring their babies with them. Then he told me (not asked) to tell him the history, asked some very emotionally painful questions before telling me to ‘snap out of it before you get committed’.

He then suggested i would feel better if i lost weight and was happy to write me a prescription for amphetamines that would make me very active and happy.

I told him to fuck off and stormed out.

So no, free healthcare isnt all its cracked up to be.

Oh friend. I got news for you. Private for cost care doesn’t remove any of that shit.

It just means I’m getting charged $500 per 20 minute appointment to be told it’s my fault.

That isn’t a money or cost issue, it’s a systemic ussue of the sexism, the racism and ableism that is permitted to run riot in the medical world, regardless of cost.

godoflittlenightmares:

fractiousrvt:

fractiousrvt:

fractiousrvt:

fractiousrvt:

fractiousrvt:

fractiousrvt:

fractiousrvt:

the-boys-of-online-dating:

yes-this-is-not-ok:

fractiousrvt:

fractiousrvt:

Okay. It may be a terrible photo, but this is a minor miracle. This is Britney, she came in  to my work yesterday in a box looking like mangled road kill. We thought she was dead. She’s almost 4 months old and only 1.8 pounds. Yesterday she couldn’t move… but she would eat. And the day had been so goddamned horrible that the vet and I just HAD to try to save her because there was too much death already.

She survived the day at work, so I took her home overnight to continue feeding her a couple teaspoons of slurry every 3 to 4 hours. And she starting moving some. And this morning she was able to turn her head enough to groom a hind foot for a few seconds.

Now, I don’t know if you know cats, but a cat that feels like crap does not groom. And while she doubtless feels like crap… she already apparently felt so much better that she expended that tiny bit of effort. Over the course of today she has been moving about more.  And so with the last feeding, I tried to see if she wanted to eat in a normal cat position.

Sure, I had to help her position her hind legs correctly (we’re quite worried about that, but she can pee and poop on her own and move her tail) and sure, she was wobbly as hell and fell over several times, but that my friends is our train wreck kitten sit/standing.

So Britney may be on Death’s doorstep, but she’s no longer in his living room having tea and biscuits and we’ll take what improvements we can get.

Can I just say that Britney is amazing? This is her third evening in my care. Tonight she was able to stand with her belly off the ground, with some leg positioning help. She can also pull herself sternal whenever she wants and kinda shift herself around a bit.

And and and…. just a little bit ago she army crawled a couple steps to me! She positioned her legs herself and wobble-scootched to me because I had stopped petting her itchy ears.

There’s an adage that if you put all the bits of a cat together in one room, it will heal. I think this little girl is trying to prove it true.

I love you Britney! You’re the most fabulous cat ever.  You’re on Death’s driveway… and not looking back.

@geekandmisandry, @yes-this-is-not-ok  can you send some love to my foster kitten?

Oh my god! What a strong and beautiful baby! She is amazing and so are you for believing in her! ❤️❤️❤️ I am sending all of my kitty love her way! Please give her special snuggles for me!

Aww poor little baby!!!! Such a strong little baby!!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

I’m starting to think Britney actually has super powers. I blogged that last update a mere 4 hours ago. I got her out to feed her… and she stood! On her Own! AND SHE WALKED. Not well. But it was up and it was walking, no matter how wobbly, and she walked her way over to me (about 5 steps total) and then CLIMBED ON MY LEGS and is laying there purring and I might be crying right now.

image

She did that, everyone. On her own.

Yeah. Crying.

Britney is rather amazing. She is doing far better and far faster than we had any reason to expect or even hope for. I mean, 4 days ago we were fairly certain she *wasn’t* going to make it, and now? She’s still weak and wobbly, but when you started with a body condition score (BCS) of 1/9 (5 being ideal) and have graduated to a 2/9, what can you expect?

A different vet did her recheck today. This vet got a glimpse of her on Tuesday, the morning after she arrived. She couldn’t believe the first vet and I were trying to save her. So today she does the exam, and Britney turns and give her the same look that she gave us that first day and this vet looks up at me and says “I thought you both were crazy to even try… but I can see now why you did. She’s won me over. I’m team Britney now.”

She’s still getting fluids under the skin twice a day, and antibiotics. And she got a bath (horror) and a brush out to remove the gunk that was in her fur. Her wounds are healing really well. She is SO soft now, and she purrs SO loud and she loves SO fiercely that her biscuits are painful.

image

“Ow”

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This is the best kitten.

I have given her super long lap sessions because of you all. Britney is very grateful.

Britney had her 3rd recheck exam today with the vet who first helped me save her. She’s far surpassed our wildest hopes. She’s still ataxic (wobbly when walking) and we are unsure if it’s from muscle weakness, toxicity/trauma, or something congenital like a minor case of cerebellar hypoplasia. We’ll have to see how she progresses. She gets her next vet exam in a week. The vet also told me that because she’s no longer in critical condition that she doesn’t *need* to be fostered to me. I’m sure I gave the vet a very strange and fierce expression as I said “But I love her. And she loves me.” And therefore even though I’m NOT keeping her forever, she gets to stay with me until she’s adopted. Because MY foster kitten.

She’s currently helping me enter physical exams and booster vaccines that I’ve done today into the computer. Very useful kitten.

image

It’s been 2 weeks since I took Britney home, fully expecting her to not make it. Today she was spayed and she did really well during the surgery and had a very gentle recovery.

Two vets did an extra thorough exam on her today and they’ve ruled out cerebellar hypoplasia as a likely cause for her issues for two reasons: 1- she doesn’t have intention tremors, and her issues are limited to her hind legs, and 2- she is painful when you press on her back where the thoracic vertebrae meet the lumbar vertebrae. 

We took some really good spinal radiographs while she was under anesthesia and she doesn’t have any breaks or compressions or anything obvious. Both vets think she is not in any danger, but that I should not encourage her to be super active for a while longer. She should not get any worse, and will hopefully get better. So current thought is trauma, probably caused by whatever caused the head and neck wounds as well.

Britney on the recovery bed after surgery.

Super soon Britney is going to be up for adoption. She’s got an ‘unknown neuro’ waiver in place as well as one that she had height restrictions as it’s more accurate to say she flops off the couch rather than jumps. This would be exceptionally bad news if she did it off, say, a 6ft tall cat tree.  She is also going to get a big story about her done by my shelter that should go out soon-ish so she can get a wide pool of potential adopters and we can choose the best one for this little miracle kitten.

I’m going to definitely demand (politely!) regular updates from whomever adopts her, because I really love her.

A short video of her and the laser pointer, to show how she kind of flops around when chasing it.

It’s been 2 years since my best foster case ever. Cheers Britney!

@amarynthian-fortress

There was someone I used to follow on tumblr who identified as conservative but was generally sane. I didn’t agree with all their opinions but generally respected their views. Then when asked about the election they said that since they were in a very blue city in a blue state, they voted for Gary Johnson since their vote didn’t matter. It’s legit that my respect for them instantly dropped, right? Even if you’re in a super blue city, voting for Johnson was pointless and just making a (1/2)

brainstatic:

(2/2) statement that you absolutely couldn’t bear to vote Democrat even in a worst case scenario. Even if your vote “doesn’t matter” and you would totally vote differently if you lived in a swing state or whatever

Anyone who reinforces the notion that voting is an expression of your personality is part of the problem. I’ve wrote about this before but it’s part of the consumerization of politics, how everything is about building your personal brand and not creating material improvements.

aninishib:

idionymon:

thinking about how the burning of the library of alexandria is remembered as the most prominent historical symbol of the destruction of knowledge…but that’s nothing compared to the thousands of entire languages killed in America and Australia by the colonialists…

*jeopardy voice* can I get “Diego de Landa burning the Maya codices of Mani” for 500 please

fierceawakening:

wetmattos:

betterbemeta:

Recently, youtuber Natalie Wynn brought up a great concept in her breakdown of why Incels believe the things they do– “masochistic epistemology.” She put it simply, “what hurts, is true.

She said this in the context of how incels basically form parasocial death cults when they are ‘blackpilled.’ They come to believe that because they feel terrible about themselves right now, that feeling is objectively true and forever, and even the reality of how the ‘world really works’ and there’s no hope to change it, only to “LDR”. Which is, ‘lie down and rot’, a form of suicide baiting. What’s happened here is that otherwise genuine feelings of pain or insecurity have been validated maybe too much and have evolved into an entire worldview centered around affirmation of pain. And once pain-as-truth becomes social capital, the way people behave changes to maximize its growth and spread.

But I have to say? I feel like I have encountered versions of the very same behavior in my own spaces, on tumblr, on facebook, etc.:

  • There’s definitely forms of love-bombing that surround mental illness or depression support connections that shower you with confirmation and praise only as long as you reject any steps of managing mental illness, so long as it unstoppably dominates your life. Once you question someone else’s behavior or declare that you’re seeing a therapist or something all your new parasocial friends turn against you.
  • I’ve seen it in supposedly feminist spaces where women that are otherwise strangers to each other talk each other into hopelessness and heightened fear of sex and fear of other people in their life, especially male figures. Sometimes not even based in a specific personal experience, but instead just this collective ‘dark truth’ of womanhood. TERFs love to do this, and segue younger people into fear of trans women this way.
  • I’ve seen it happen a lot within lgbt+ spaces where someone’s personal despair about dysphoria, homophobia they face, not being able to find a partner or being judged by family or strangers, or even fear of violence, enters a feedback loop with other people they don’t actually know and don’t have any interests but their own consumption in mind amplifying it, forming these insular enclaves where fear is truth and everyone else is wrong because they don’t feel as terrible about being attracted to the same sex or for being trans as they should. Meanwhile no one struggling within this structure is actually getting the support or help they need, they’re just arguing about it and building cases for, when the mythical support does fall from the sky,  why they should get it first.
  • There’s mounds of discourse where people argue over how because that group couldn’t possibly live as terrible a reality as this group, their lived experience isn’t the order of the universe and therefore doesn’t deserve validity or attention at all. And to argue, inexperienced people fall into the trap of trying to artificially match the despair levels of their critics, or try to counter one black pill with their own black pill which will never be credible to outsiders, resulting in cringy disaster at all vectors. In the red-hot radioactive mess troll accounts prosper.

Which is not to say that all these situations are full of people as baseless as incels– some of them are living very difficult lives, but are using “masochistic epistemology“ as the internal logic of their world. And the effect of such an internal logic is extremely dark self-confirming biases in excess of what is necessary to communicate the dangers of their lives, or cope with hardship. And any similar person who goes off seeking friends who acknowledge their pain is going to find a black hole of people who’d otherwise be peers escalating that very pain in themselves and others in order to confirm it’s all real.

Natalie Wynn herself, a trans woman, struggled with the urge to go to 4chan’s /lgbt/ and wait for the most toxic and hopeless crowds there rip her appearance apart even though it made very little logical sense. The people there shared the same insecurities as her, that they don’t pass, that people will despise them, and in some way hearing those insecurities confirmed rather than denied to her felt more like ‘the real truth’ or ‘what people really think’ than it did to hear praise and encouragement. Even if what they had to say wasn’t anywhere near an objective truth. 

The “pain is real” mindset is that hard to shake! It doesn’t matter if you’re smart, prepared to identify the phenomenon with philosophy education, intellectually aware that it’s bad for you. There is a self-harm impulse to ‘face reality’, but a very specific reality that confirms the bias of your pain or insecurity. The comfort zone of discomfort, in a way! It just wants you to not feel crazy for feeling those things and is willing to hurt you even more to prove you’re right about your environment or your life.

#masochistic epistemology#the root of I think a lot of parasocial hells on the internet#where the worst discourse often comes from

@betterbemeta tags are relevant, here

Oh lord, yes.

When I’m at my sickest, I feel like my pain is objectively true in a way nothing else is. The people who love me are lying or duped by my manipulative nature, the hope I had was false and I never should have tried, etc.

Online communities of a certain kind of political bent really encourage this—present the idea that there’s a way the world is, and that way is not just unfair and unjust sometimes but endlessly destructive. People on the right and the left do this.

It’s… unlivable, and breaks people.

aegipan-omnicorn:

athelind:

carsthatnevermadeitetc:

Virtual Eye Pod, 2018. As part of their on-going research into self-driving vehicles Jaguar Land Rover are employing self-driving pods that have large ‘virtual eyes’ to interact with other road users. The intelligent pods run autonomously on a fabricated street scene in Coventry, while the behaviour of pedestrians is analysed as they wait to cross the road. Research suggests that 63% of pedestrians worry about how safe it is to cross the road with the advent of autonomous vehicles. The ‘eye pods’ have been designed to help work out how much information self-driving cars should share with users or pedestrians to ensure that people trust the technology.

I think something more … robotic … could convey the same information without falling into the Uncanny Valley like these do.

[Image description: a photoset of a large, truck-like autonomous vehicle at the crosswalk of what looks like an underground garage or tunnel. The vehicle is painted white, orange, and black. On the front of the vehicle, just above the windshield, are mounted two, round, cartoonish, eyes. The first, second, and third pictures in the set show a woman with long blonde hair approach, and cross, the crosswalk; the vehicle’s eyes move to follow her. Description ends]

People using wheelchairs, trying to navigate crowds of other people, have a similar problem: being ignored, having people walk into our paths without warning, etc.. My aide has said that’s because people using wheelchairs are below the sight lines of most ambulatory people, so what should I expect?

But, funnily enough, ambulatory adults seem to have no problem at all making room for ambulatory children. My suspicion is that most normates put wheelchair users in the same mental category as robot cars: they forget that we are autonomous beings, capable of movement (and heavier than they realize, and not able to react to changes as quickly as they can).

So, awhile back (a search of my Dreamwidth Journal reveals it was just about nine years ago), I got the idea for mounting some sort of “puppet” with a moveable head, mounted at the eye line of the worse offenders in crowds (about 5 feet / 1.6 meters–typically an adult, able-bodied, male – surprise, surprise) that would turn in the direction I’m moving my chair… almost exactly like these “Eye Pod” vehicles.

In any case, as the person with the strongest vested interest in
crowd control, having this falling into the Uncanny Valley is  exactly  what I want my puppet to do, if it makes people go: “…Oh… erg,” and back up half a step as I approach. 


My simplest idea is a to have the head be an emoji-like face – something the brain registers as “human” almost instantly.

My most elaborate idea is to have it be a fully automated dragon puppet, “perched” on the back of my chair, with a flexible neck, roaring sound effect, and a mouth that opens when it roars – to reveal long teeth, and glowing red lights in its mouth. Maybe even movable wings, so I could dope slap those fools who are being particularly obnoxious (ridiculously unrealistic and impractical … But a girl can dream).