adventuresinjoyland:

raisel-the-riveter:

raisel-the-riveter:

addie has been sending me pictures of the newspaper in her part of florida and it has me questioning the reality of the entire region. are you sure you’ve moved to a real place, I have texted her several times now. she is not sure.

[images: 1) a headline reading, “Colombia’s former anti-corruption chief pleads guilty to bribery scheme at Dolphin Mall”
2) an advertisement with the heading “IGUANAS TAKING OVER?” It features several pictures of iguanas and a list of places on one’s property that this company can get iguanas out of, which includes something called a SEA WALL. people out there need help to fight the IGUANAS in the SEA WALL like this is fucking pacific rim]

me: does the lake near your school have alligators in it
addie:
they shoo the alligatos away if they show up
me: …….. they what
addie:
oh, animal control will come and catch giant reptiles/release elsewhere
me: OH
me:
when you said “they” shoo the alligators I was absolutely picturing school maintenance personnel chasing them with brooms

at this point I’m just like, SURE, heroic janitors steve irwin-ing their way across campus, that probably happens??? I legit have lost my sense of what the scale of realistic occurrences is when it comes to the alleged south florida area

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I walk past this sign every day! DO NOT HARASS THE CROCODILES.

purpleskunkape:

the-disney-delete:

yeah-yeah-beebiss-1:

arcelian:

purpleskunkape:

the-disney-delete:

WTF Disney: Disneyland’s ‘Goof Ball’ walk-around character, 1993.

(As if the whole thing weren’t creepy enough, why is his hat a snake?!)

I wanted to learn more about this image… but there is nothing.

A search for “Goofy Golf Ball” “Goof Ball” and “Goofy Golf Ball Snake” and all variations thereof lead to links about halloween costumes and actual golf balls featuring Goofy.

So I searched the Disney wiki… and…

There is no 1993 variant of the character, much less one fused with a golfball.

And a reverse google search?

Four freakin results… one from twitter, the rest originating in some form to this very post! The biggest one? The one I’m reblogging right now!

What are you!? Why do you have a snake for a hat?! Are those arms or ears of flippers!

This image exists… that much is true… but the contents held within…  doesn’t…

This is a window into an alternate timeline, a reality suggestive of our own but different… wrong…

A cursed image in it’s truest form, censored not only by the Walt Disney Company but by reality itself.

By pure coincidence, the right zeroes and ones that form our reality have manifested in this collection of pixels, seemingly presenting a moment from the not so distant past, but a past which is almost, but not quite, completely alien to our own.

I FOUND HIM

I FOUND THE GOOF

he’s apparently from a 1992 Disneyland parade called ‘The World According to Goofy’ which. still explains very little but at least he’s THERE

anyway you can see Proof Of His Existence here: https://youtu.be/-zerX9hNNW0?t=4m7s

okay, but i think we’re all sleeping on the fact that in sort-of solving one mystery, we have opened countless others

what are these beings supposed to represent? did we find a grainy home video from another plane of reality? deliver us the truth

OP here! Quick bit of backdtory:

I scanned the original pic from an old issue of Storyboard Magazine. It was featured in an article about the Grand Opening of Disneyland’s Toontown.

There, among a large photo spread of buildings, fountains and rides that would never open and/or close almost immediately, was a photo the ‘Goof Ball’. What’s more, the photo named him: Goofball!

Every other walk-around character they brought out for the ribbon-cutting was your average, everyday Mickey, Minnie, Donald, etc. And then there was the Goofball.

Someone in costuming was a genius that day.

Oh, and that ‘World According to Goofy’ parade is a treasure trove of WTF Disney riches. Take, for instance, this photo of ‘Clarapatra: Cow of the Nile’…

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It’s madness, but I LOVE IT!!!

Thank you so much for this madness. 🙂

Citizenship service conspired with ICE to ‘trap’ immigrants at visa interviews, ACLU says

afloweroutofstone:

Lilian Calderon told her daughter not to worry, that she would be coming right back. Calderon and her husband, Luis, had an interview they couldn’t miss at U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services in Rhode Island Jan. 17.

All they had to do was prove their marriage was legitimate, the first step on a long path toward a green card. They brought family photographs, their children’s birth certificates and their marriage documents. Luis was a U.S. citizen. Calderon was undocumented. She had been brought to the United States illegally from Guatemala when she was 3.

The interviews were quick and painless. Calderon’s included “football banter,” she said.

But then ICE showed up — and it was quickly clear to Calderon that she would not be returning home to her daughter.

The 30-year-old mother of two wound up handcuffed and then detained by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement for nearly a month, capturing the attention of the ACLU and leading to a class-action lawsuit over what attorneys have described as a “cruel bait and switch” arrest operation. According to emails between federal officials unsealed in federal court documents this week, U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services had been coordinating with ICE to alert the agency when certain immigrants eligible for deportation showed up at the CIS office for routine interviews.

The ACLU of Massachusetts is accusing the agencies of conspiring to “trap” unsuspecting immigrants on a path toward legal permanent residency by inviting them to these interviews only for ICE to arrest them there. This happened to at least 17 people in 2018 including Calderon, although only 13 qualify as members of the class, according to the lawsuit. The ACLU argues this violates their rights to due process and the Immigration Nationality Act, among other things, for detaining the immigrants before they’ve had a chance to complete the process for seeking legal status.

“The government created this path for them to seek a green card,” Matthew Segal, legal director of the ACLU of Massachusetts, told the Associated Press. “The government can’t create that path and then arrest folks for following that path.”

ICE’s Boston field office spokesman, John Mohan, said in a statement Wednesday morning that any allegations of “inappropriate coordination” between the agencies were “unfounded.”

“This routine coordination within the Department of Homeland Security, not unlike the cooperative efforts we maintain with many other federal partners, is lawful and legitimate in the work we do to uphold our nation’s immigration laws,” Mohan said.

Emails between the agencies released Tuesday show USCIS employees scheduling interviews with certain married couples or other family members around ICE agents’ availability. When immigrants and their spouses or family members showed up, USCIS employees would alert ICE. If ICE agents were running late, ICE would ask USCIS to reschedule the interviews to accommodate them…

Typically, he wrote, CIS would send ICE a list of immigrants seeking to schedule interviews. CIS would flag immigrants who were subject to final removal orders, who had illegally reentered the country or who were “egregious criminal aliens.” ICE would then vet the potential arrest targets and respond to CIS with a list of immigrants it wanted to arrest during their interviews.

“CIS completes the interview while our officers are en route,” Graham explained in the Jan. 30 email.

“In my opinion,” he added, “it makes sense for us to arrest aliens with final removal orders as they represent the end of the line in the removal process. They are typically the easiest to remove, they have the shortest average length of stay, and at the end of the day we are in the removal business and it’s our job to locate and arrest them.”

In Calderon’s case, she had been subject to a final order of removal since 2002, when her father’s application for asylum was denied. She was 15. Her path to legal permanent residency was enhanced in 2016, however, because a change in USCIS regulations allowed people subject to final removal orders to still apply for a green card without being forced to leave the country.

Previously, immigrants subject to removal orders were typically forced to return to their home countries for 10 years before they were eligible to return legally. Now, immigrants can apply for a waiver if they can show that leaving the United States for a long period of time would create “extreme hardship” for their family. The purpose of the change in USCIS rules was to eliminate or shorten prolonged family separation, which could have serious negative effects on the immigrants’ U.S. citizen children and spouses, the federal government said then.

But the ICE arrest operation at USCIS offices defeats the purpose of this benefit, the ACLU contends.

“In effect, the government’s one hand beckons Petitioners forward, and its other hand grabs them,” attorneys wrote in the class-action complaint, filed in April.

A hearing on the federal government’s motion to dismiss the lawsuit is scheduled for Monday.

CNN adds:

In its case, the ACLU alleges that what happened to couples like Calderon and her husband are a direct result of agencies interpreting President Donald Trump’s January 2017 executive order on immigration law enforcement.

Monday’s filing also includes the transcript of a deposition by Rebecca Adducci, an interim field office director for ICE Enforcement and Removal Operations in Burlington, who was temporarily working in the Boston field office for two months this year. In her deposition, she states that Trump’s January 2017 executive order on immigration law enforcement “permits” the arrest of anyone with final orders of removal, regardless of whether they’re pursuing citizenship or married to a US citizen at the time.

“These are all factors that should be considered when making a decision on whether or not to conduct an enforcement action,” she said at the July 26 deposition. “But the policy, the executive order, I’m sorry, doesn’t address that issue.”

“Why don’t undocumented immigrants just try to get legal?”

Well, they aren’t allowed to most of the time, but now, even in the cases where they are, the government is going out of its way to try and deport them before they can complete the legal process necessary to do so.

Citizenship service conspired with ICE to ‘trap’ immigrants at visa interviews, ACLU says

Here come the most Extra of turtles and tortoises

kyuubijrr:

chaussettesock:

turtlessuggest:

Indian Roof Turtle, about as close to a dragon turtle as we’re likely to get.

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Burmese Roof Turtle, with a banana for a head

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Diamondback Terrapin, the Rorschach of turtles

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Red-Bellied Short-Necked Turtle, just look at those colors!

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Burmese Starred Tortoise, geometrically chic

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Radiated Tortoise, also geometrically chic but maybe more art deco

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Painted Terrapin, no need to send in the clowns

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Leopard Tortoise, breaking the mold with a little art noveau

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Bell’s Hingeback Tortoise, “You think box turtles got it on lockdown? Hold my noms and watch this!”

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Impressed Tortoise, what it says on the tin

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Cane Turtle, otherwise known as “Winner Of Turtle Death Glare Competition Since Forever”

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Mata-Mata Turtle, the very definition of chaotic Neutral as a turtle

Spiny turtle, a very sharp and very dangerous boy

Cantor’s giant softshell turtle, a pancake with turtle pieces

Alligator snapping turtle, a real life honest dragon

The last one!!!