“Nearly everyone with ADHD answers an emphatic yes to the question: “Have you always been more sensitive than others to rejection, teasing, criticism, or your own perception that you have failed or fallen short?” This is the definition of a condition called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. When I ask ADHDers to elaborate on it, they say: “I’m always tense. I can never relax. I can’t just sit there and watch a TV program with the rest of the family. I can’t turn my brain and body off to go to sleep at night. Because I’m sensitive to my perception that other people disapprove of me, I am fearful in personal interactions.” They are describing the inner experience of being hyperactive or hyper-aroused. Remember that most kids after age 14 don’t show much overt hyperactivity, but it’s still present internally, if you ask them about it. The emotional response to the perception of failure is catastrophic for those with the condition. The term “dysphoria” means “difficult to bear,” and most people with ADHD report that they “can hardly stand it.” They are not wimps; disapproval hurts them much more than it hurts neurotypical people. If emotional pain is internalized, a person may experience depression and loss of self-esteem in the short term. If emotions are externalized, pain can be expressed as rage at the person or situation that wounded them. In the long term, there are two personality outcomes. The person with ADHD becomes a people pleaser, always making sure that friends, acquaintances, and family approve of him. After years of constant vigilance, the ADHD person becomes a chameleon who has lost track of what she wants for her own life. Others find that the pain of failure is so bad that they refuse to try anything unless they are assured of a quick, easy, and complete success. Taking a chance is too big an emotional risk. Their lives remain stunted and limited. For many years, rejection-sensitive dysphoria has been the hallmark of what has been called atypical depression. The reason that it was not called “typical” depression is that it is not depression at all but the ADHD nervous system’s instantaneous response to the trigger of rejection.”
I don’t think this is necessarily exclusive to ADHD – it’s extremely familiar to me and, while I have some ADD-ish traits, I very definitely don’t have hyperactivity. It sounds a hell of a lot like a lot of other autistic-or-otherwise-neurodiverse-but-not-necessarily-ADHD people I know too. And it also sounds a lot like something that comes from a (vaguely complex-PTSD-ish?) unconsciously-learnt response to repeated experience (or, in less clinical-sounding terms, internalised oppression), rather than something that necessarily comes from a particular cognitive difference.
Perhaps this is different where you live, but here “ADHD” now is an umbrella term that covers both “Hyperactive type” and “inattentive type.” I am inattentive type, and I must say that reading this article was like looking in a mirror, it’s amazing how accurate it all is to my life. I was diagnosed 11 years ago and somehow never knew that this was common in ADHD. But I think you’re right that it might have more to do with our conditioning than with our neurotype. I’d love to learn more abut this and see if there’s any more information on the causes.
One thing that still makes me laugh is that they keep saying they don’t know how we get RSD. Like… really? You don’t know how ADHDers develop RSD? We spend our lives being told off for things we can’t control and having moral judgments applied to our symptoms (which again, we can’t control), and you don’t understand why “overreact” to criticism or perceived criticism? Really? Have any of you read anything about anxiety, perfectionism, and so on? Like, it’s not different for us just because we have ADHD. Mental health is still mental health.
Welcome to the My Camp Stove Fucking Melted fundraiser
First the all important stat sheet:
Autistic with comorbid mental illnesses including depression(possibly of the manic variety), anxiety(minor), and executive dysfunction; maybe more!
Gender: I don’t want these, with a side of gay. Honestly it’s complicated, suffice it to say that if I projected it I may not have lived this long around here while homeless.
Income: $0 and 192 monthly freedom food funbucks; attempting to get disability but not optimistic about the odds!
Secret Base: Squatting in a one person tent in the woods.(since March of 18)
Transportation: a $5000 debt that needs to be paid down with 💯% consistency(lest bad legal things happen) before I am allowed to even view a car with my own nearly legally blind eyes. But hey, that’s what you get for letting family members use your car to get back and forth from work.
So you might have guessed from the title that my camping stove partially melted while I was trying to use it in a way that renders it non-functional; giving it a whopping 0% success rate, but hey, at least it didn’t explode!
That’s my latest concern, but not my only one. I actually need a couple of things to get myself ready for the winter, including a small sewing kit, a second blanket, propane, rubbing alcohol, a new, less terrible and broken stove, an emergency tent fund for when this one deteriorates to the point that it will collapse under a night of heavy snowfall, and various other goods and sundries.
I also need 7$ before the 17th of October so that I can keep my gym membership, where I take my showers and get my sick gains, only a convenient 2 mile hike away from home.
Cash app: cash.me/$ANagain
Venmo: @ANagain
Please reblog/signal boost
Thank you to everyone who has sent this thing around. Really didn’t expect double digit notes, let alone the one donation that’s been sent my way. It honestly feels nice that people are willing to put any effort towards helping me; with rare exception that’s a totally alien experience for me.
I have recently discovered Plants. Did you know: if you find a plant you like, you can just… collect its seeds? Or, you can dig it up and plant it somewhere else?? OR (now this one is crazy but stick with me) you can take part of it and grow it into a new plant?!?
Amazing! First, I started small: I noticed some milkweed was spilling floaty seeds everywhere, so I borrowed a couple, planted them, and several months later I had so many Monarch and Queen caterpillars I had to give some away.
Next: I noticed a baby morning glory vine had popped up in my side yard. I didn’t want it in my side yard, so I dug it up, put it in my brand new flower garden, and several months later it has taken over the entire back half of my yard.
Then: my coworker brought in some lemongrass cuttings she’d done, and I planted it in my yard. It exploded and it’s the most massive lemongrass bush I’ve ever seen.
Now that I’ve done my “hands off” experiment with the back yard (conclusion: invasive grasses will completely take over and prevent any natives from taking root), I am ready to become the master of my realm. But I’m still broke as heck. So!
Milkweed vine (Matelea?) and Monarda seeds nabbed from the field at work!
Every mango I ever eat ever again! (Three germinated, started #4 last night)
Ruellia simplex which I *cough* may have borrowed from a park. I took five because I didn’t have scissors or a knife and I didn’t trust my ability in making cuttings but ALL FIVE ROOTED and some are starting to bud!!!
Red yucca from the parking lot at work
It’s contagious! My coworker went for a walk in her neighborhood, and saw a strange tree with these 15 inch long seed pods that look like giant string beans. So of course she took one to give to me. It matured over the weekend, and today I popped it open and LOOK AT ALL THESE SEEDS!!! It’s a Catalpa tree, which is native to the eastern and southern US states. It makes HUGE F-ING flowers which it drops everywhere, making a huge mess. They get TALL. And I have a HUGE HANDFUL of them. What am I going to do with 100+ Catalpa trees?!?! My (not very large) yard is already filling up with trees (though I eagerly await the total consumption of my house into thick wooded forest in the middle of my housing development). I’m thinking Bonsai 😂
September 11, 2018
Mad scientists and backyard horticulturists have a lot in common actually
Mad engineers are just as important as mad scientists, someone needs to actually know what they’re doing. Any mad scientist can design a death-ray but building one that doesn’t blow up in your face when you pull the dramatic switch?
Speaking as a (mad) plant scientist I wholeheartedly endorse your efforts and attitude.
“The very rude elevator screamers are paid professionals only looking to make Senators look bad Don’t fall for it!” he tweeted.
Trump claimed that billionaire liberal activist George Soros is among those funding the demonstrations against the judge, who has been accused of sexual misconduct by multiple women. He did not provide evidence for his claim.
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
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