bittersnurr:

a-rinna:

fierceawakening:

maid-of-timey-wimey:

chelonianmobile:

tumblr user 1: i have issues identifying my gender and orientation due to borderline personality disorder

tumblr user 2: fair enough

tumbr user 1: which is why i am BORDERLINEGENDER and BORDERLINESEXUAL because my gender and sexuality can change and are determined by a mental illness

tumblr user 2: wait no that’s not how it works

tumblr user 2: that belief is actually very harmful to the lgbtaq community and also delegitimises the struggle of living with bpd

tumblr user 1: Y DO U HATE NEURODIVERGENT TRANS PPL

So it seems clear from context that OP is against neurogenders, but this post doesn’t actually make me any more sympathetic to User 2. User 1 never implied that all lgbtaq orientations and genders are caused/influenced by mental illness, they just said their own were. And how are they “delegitimizing” THEIR OWN illness?

Yeah. Like… I haven’t heard this with BPD, but I do hear it fairly often from autistic people. And it seems there actually are a lot of autistic trans people. So if someone wants to say “I think my self-conception of my gender is influenced by the way my neurology works,” okay. “Autismgender” seems like a usable abbreviation, even.

If you want me to use neopronouns, I’ll probably ask if they/them is acceptable to you, but aside from that I’m not sure why that would be objectionable?

I mean, the old-school “we think this is what the science says but we’re not totally sure” understanding was that prenatal hormones can influence (but not wholly dictate) gender identity and sexual orientation, and if that’s possible/likely, why couldn’t neurological differences do so too?

Yeah, I don’t ID as either borderlinegender or borderlinesexual but I do have BPD and I completely understand why other people with BPD would ID with these terms just from my own experience in questioning my sexuality, because my BPD absolutely impacts that to a significant degree.

I don’t think being borderline on its own has directly caused me to be queer, it’s not the only factor involved, but it definitely influences my sexuality and my ability to feel sexual and romantic attraction and the degree/frequency to which I feel them to the point that it has made it pretty damn difficult for me to figure out just what terms apply to my orientation. 

A major reason I primarily ID as queer is because of this, even, because if not for ‘queer’ I’d be spending all my time explaining “well I’m technically bi but also kinda grey-aro/grey-ace because my mental illness makes the way I experience attraction fluctuate from one day/hour/minute to another and for every stretch of time I’m sure I’m attracted equally to people of all genders, I’m totally devoid of attraction for another stretch of time and….” — and yeah, I’m not doing that. I’m tired just typing it out.

So I get 100% why someone with BPD would need a specific term to describe that their BPD is a major influence on how they experience either their gender or orientation or both. It’s a valid way to feel and it’s not an uncommon experience, either (there are people in various bpd tags who post about questioning because their bpd makes things so confusing pretty much every week), and I don’t think it delegitimizes the LGBTQiA+ community or other people with BPD at all.

I think it is mostly a problem where people think you shouldn’t even count as anything but cishet because you might have been cishet if you were neurotypical. It basically results in a subtle “you are not allowed to choose your identity because your perceptions are off”.

And this is extra miserable because idk about other disabled people but I CANNOT PASS as my damn asab because I cannot “preform” femininity correctly. So basically you get outgrouped by you assigned gender then try and find spaces for whatever gender you are and then get told you are failing at THAT for being disabled.

If disabled people ID as trans because they are disabled then that to some people, seems to imply that all transpeople are broken and should be forced to go to conversion therapy…. but I have literally been advised to have conversion therapy by lgbtq people because THEY are fine and normal but I AM broken i guess. Like I have read articles about transgender autistics killing themselves because they were told by gender clinics they couldn’t transition until their autism was CURED. In other words NEVER.

And this doesn’t even get into the fact this also applies to sexuality. Having any sort of baggage is often considered abusive. People will frequently tell people they aren’t allowed to date until they “recover” and I bought into that as a kid but 10 years later and I am now WORSE because of isolation. It doesn’t matter what your sexuality is either. You’d think that you would at least be allowed to be asexual but nope, being anything but straight when disabled is endorsing the “broken” narrative. Every other group will try and force you into the ace box but the ace community also hates you so even if you ARE ace you have no support.

But you know it’s not ableism or anything you’re just trying to sneek into spaces to ruin things for the REAL LGBTQ people.