Day: July 20, 2018

Actually, that was also another decent example of people trying to make you feel like shit for needing any help.

Never mind that I did have other trouble reliably going shopping, and really was running up against some harassment. It all got cast as some individual mental health problem that I just needed to toughen up and get over–a.k.a. “Stop Being So Ridiculous (Yet Again)!” and “If You Would Handle Situations Properly, There Wouldn’t Even Be Any Problem!”

Meanwhile, that really was not causing extra trouble for anyone. She was doing the exact same shopping as usual–and at that point my parents usually had their own food stamps, thanks to both being disabled and often unable to work. It was still apparently necessary to snark and act like that about it whenever she was having a bad day and needed somebody to unload some of that on.

(That also occurred to me as an unfortunately good example of some of the reasons why I still hesitate to say anything when I am having trouble or need even relatively simple/routine help. Especially if it could be interpreted as Clatterbane Just Being Inconveniently Ridiculous.

And too relevant an example, given some of the reasons I haven’t been getting out much lately. Which also involve often not having the spoons to also deal with actual bad behavior from complete fucking strangers out in public when I am already struggling. I know my partner is unlikely to pull that shit, but it still makes me nervous just thinking about it. Not to mention needing to ask anybody to take up more slack.)

For that matter, I’m pretty sure I was regularly committing some of that Dread Food Stamp Fraud, back when they were way more obtrusive Monopoly money-looking physical coupons.

I would usually just give my mom the huge roughly $25/month worth that I became eligible for once I got on SSI. Largely because of anxiety.

I was having a rough enough time without also devoting spoons I didn’t have to dealing with the high likelihood of shittiness out of cashiers and/or other customers as soon as you pulled them out. She was more up to it. (And probably didn’t face the exact same types of judgy bullshit, not being an apparently healthy-looking person in their 20s.)

Anyway, I had other problems getting out shopping. And shopping assistance is allowed for disabled adults. What likely pushed it over into technical “fraud” was that I just handed that big $25 over for her to use as she saw fit. That food was not bought/prepared separately from the rest of the household supplies.

Just reminded of that, as another example of (fairly common) “fraud” that’s really not hurting anybody. And is not what most people will think of, at all.

tigergingicat:

gluten-free-pussy:

I know for a fact I’ve told this story on here before but I’ll never get over the time when I was working retail and I was cashing out some lady so I asked “cash, debit or credit how are you paying, ma’am?” And she said “that’s none of your business.” And demanded to speak to my manager about my invasive question

So when I was working as a 35-year-old cashier in 2005 (to supplement my extremely part-time job as office manager at a tech start-up in order to justify paying a babysitter) part of my training included how to be kind to people paying with food stamps. Food stamps had only just been renamed SNAP, and food stamp debit cards had just been issued.

We asked “Cash, check, or card?” And didn’t look to see what they used (the computerized register showed it only on the cashier’s side).

And just in case they had forgotten to separate SNAP-eligible food from ineligible household necessities, we had a script for that too. We would already have made sure to ring up food first, so that we didn’t have to void out the whole order and start again. For the rest of the line, we’d smile sweetly and say, “I’m so sorry, computer issue, the supervisor will open another line when she comes to fix it.”

And only the supervisor, the customer, and the cashier would ever know about the food stamps, because all the other customers would be shuffled off to another line.

So, yeah, it CAN be a privacy question.

You mentioned you like Stephen Fry! Be wary, he is a Yid and he is only friends with you to extract wealth, which is the primary objective of a Jew. He may seem nice to you but in reality all he wants is more sympathisers and your money. You can’t trust a Jew as far as you throw it. No need to thank me, education on them should be mandatory not volentery. Dirty, evil creatures. Keep up the good work with the books.

blue–green:

chelonianmobile:

neil-gaiman:

Look, this is a bit embarrassing, but I’m afraid that I’m a fully-paid-up honest-to-goodness barmitzvahed-and-circumcised Jew myself. And while I would, of course, like sympathisers and money, I most certainly do not want yours.

Also, it’s spelled ‘voluntary’.

Wow.

Imagine thinking something like this
How repulsive
How awful to have to read it. Much better and calmer response than I would have had.

robotsandfrippary:

instantbanana:

my-mental-pile:

itsme98z:

YES. Make things clearer and more specific

Especially the first one! I have a really hard time knowing if somebody actually wants me to do something unless they are specific about the task and direct it towards me completely. 

This is some adhd/autism solidarity Mood™️

Not to derail or take away, but when someone says, “What’s the secret to a long marriage?”

This.  This is the secret.  be clear and specific about things.  I mean, yes, my husband has ADD and i probably fall on the autism spectrum somewhere, but I learned from watching my parents that most of the misunderstandings that led to their divorce was not being clear.  And what got them back together and remarried is being more clear and kind.  And always saying thank you, even if it’s a simple task.

So yeah, 19 years for my husband and I this year. And this is a big part of why. 

Source: sissy-that-walk

lenyberry:

walpurgisak:

lenyberry:

wilwheaton:

I mean…

I’ve literally never seen the people who are mad about Russian interference being like “no but it’s totally ok that WE meddle with OTHER countries’ elections”. 

That’s different people. There’s probably a few actual hypocrites but really, like, most of us are of the opinion that we should also mind our own damn business and butt out of other countries’ internal affairs. 

the russia interference mavins may not be pro meddling, but theyve never protested particularly hard in the past. by and large, the left has lead the charge against american meddling in other countries elections, and by and large the left is more concerned now with voter suppression by the GOP, broken promises and primary rigging by the democrats, and the new prominence of american nazis, and less so with russian meddling.

“never protested particularly hard” 

Yes, it’s difficult to protest particularly hard about things that one is not aware are happening. I don’t know if you know this, but, the American education system is not particularly good and also the American media doesn’t tend to report much on things like “hey our government is secretly meddling in another country’s shit”. They’d rather run sensationalized clickbait about “could your front door KILL YOU? Stay tuned for our special report!” (spoilers: technically yes, your front door could kill you, but it’s really unlikely and you probably should not actually be very concerned).
And while being thoroughly informed about world current events is an admirable goal, lots of us have too many personal problems taking up our brainpower to do a very good job at keeping up on that. 

Yeah, I’m also more concerned about those things you listed than with “Russia interfered”. However, proving that there was deliberate collusion with Russian bullshit to get Trump elected might end up being the thing that gets him and his cabinet thrown out FASTEST, in which case that would be a net good against at least voter suppression by the GOP and the nazi resurgence – they’re emboldened because “their guy” won; it makes sense that it would be a demoralizing blow to them to get him impeached and removed. Doesn’t mean the problems would all magically be solved, but it’d sure be a solid step towards a less shitty future.

Source: wilwheaton

littledeconstruction:

clatterbane:

ripplingmirrors:

nickjetset:

xenopheles:

dandyads:

Trojan Condoms, 1993

BRING THIS BACK, TROJAN.

Good advertising is good. Promotes safe sex and their own product!

i love that it promotes safe sex without saying that getting pregnant is the only thing you should be worried about

Some important context: That was near the worst of the epidemic in the US, without effective combination treatments available yet.

(1993 was actually the year I started college. And yeah, latex barriers were getting pushed hard in the late ‘80s-early ‘90s as a basic responsibility if you wanted to stay alive very long. To the point of fearmongering among fairly low risk populations. Some of the changes in the meantime still surprise me, tbh.)

i cannot overemphasize how scary it was to have sex was in the 90′s. HIV/AIDS had no effective treatments, no easy/cheap testing, and it takes about 10 years to show symptoms – your partners could very well have it and not know.

Nowadays? Free testing at the clinic, takes five minutes and a fingerstick, and while it is still a very serious disease, it’s highly manageable.

Trojan ads were everywhere back then, btw. They told us there wasn’t any such thing as a “low-risk” population, which pissed a lot of people off because “BUT MY PARTNER WOULD NEVER LIE TO ME” 

but frankly I would like to see a lot more of that nowadays.

Source: dandyads