I forgot to say, The Christmas Ladder is up again.
Why a ladder?
Alright, ill tell ya. This is what we refer to in my family as “The Christmas Incident”
Im in third grade at the time of this glorious christmas fun, just a smol little child waiting for legos and fun, but i got SO much more. After everyone woke up and had coffee and whatnot we start passing around presents and opening them and whatnot, thank you’s are said, i love it’s, etc… Then it gets to my sister. That year, all she’d wanted were clothes, so pretty much all of her stuff was in gift bags. She reaches in the first one, pulls out a sweater and says “OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I LOVE IT ITS SO GORGEOUS OH MY G—"
She suddenly throws the thing away from her like it had caught on fire and says, “what the fuck is that?!” We all look and its this gross little maggot-looking larvae bug thing on her sweater. My dad promptly picks it up and throws the bug away, no big deal. My mom tells us it was probably just a hitchhiker from the store, no big whoop.
So we go around again, and when we get back to my sister, she pulls out a pair of brand new jeans and promptly throws them on the couch… we all look again, low and behold, gross lil white bugs. 3 of them this time. My dad threw em away again, and my mom tries to chill us out again because the pants were from the same store as the sweater, but my sis wasnt convinced. So, she grabs a bag from a completely different store and pulls out another pair of jeans thats is absolutely swarmed with these fucking worms.
This is where shit got a little chaotic. My sister flipped out and my mom sat her super far away from the tree while my dad brought in his giant vacuum to get rid of the worms. My brother suggested a free for all on the remaining presents so we could try and find the source of the little fuckers. everyone was all for it at first, but after we got into it there was pretty much instant regret. I distinctly remember getting a Nerf gun and the darts for it were full of the bastards.
So here we were, Christmas Chaos, everyones presents are infested with bugs. As you can imagine, a pretty shitty time overall. now we were all fixated on figuring out where the fuck they all came from. Our tree was fake, just a metal pole with plastic branches, so that theory was out. Then my dad made what was probably the worst decision in the history of our family. He grabbed the tree skirt wrapped around the base and flung it out from under the tree. and instantly, the entire floor of our living room was covered in squirming, tiny, white worms. Everyone but my parents screamed and ran away. I think my mom was just in too big of a shock to even move, and my dad just said “well that was stupid.”
After my dad vacuumed them all up, my mom made us get to work on undecorating the tree. after we’d gotten all the ornaments into ziplocs, we found the source of the problem. sadly it was our acorn garlands that my mom had made. It was a real bummer to have to throw those away, it was everyones favorite decoration. The larvae was from meal moths that had laid eggs in the acorns, the eggs hatched in our house because of the warmness, and thats how we ended up with millions of bugs in our living room. Lemme tell you, it was a real fucking fun six years with those fuckers fluttering around the house. Until we got cats. after two weeks with them in the house the moths were all gone, it was amazing.
So the year after this, we were all kinda not really feeling the tree. so we all went out in search of a new one while my dad stayed behind to put up lights around the house. we came back empty handed, however… when we looked in the window coming home, we thought my dad had set up the tree, but it turned out the lights had just gotten tangled around his ladder when he was putting them up. Ya can’t put a christmasy ladder in front of an art family without expecting us to do something with it.
Ever since then, we’ve been perfecting the art of the Christmas Ladder, and only decorating it with non-organic decorations that we now keep in the hall closet.
Those appear to be bird tracks rather than bunny tracks! Ergo, it was a bird hopping and then taking off, not a bunny getting taken away!
oh my god thank you phoenix wright
yeah those aren’t bunny tracks.
Forgive my sceptism, but why would a bird with a supposedly wide wingspan hop around in the snow in the first place when tree branches would suffice in the beginning?
Feel free to explain that.
I’ll be real I don’t know much about Phoenix Wright. But! I do know a lot about birds.
The mighty ptarmagin! Practically a feathered rabbit, these magnificent creatures are built for the snow.
Look at those boots! Wonderfully feathered. They spend most of their time as little snow lumps.
In fact, they’re very well known for the above phenomenon.
“Land of the Leopard National Park in the Russian Far East’s Primorsky Krai harbours four different species of wild felid. Remarkably, the full whiskery roster recently showed up on two camera traps staked out along the very same length of trail: affirming the park’s cat diversity and also providing a one-of-a-kind visual comparison of the membership.”
“Within a few days of each other, an Amur tiger, Amur leopard, Amur leopard cat and a Eurasian lynx took their own pictures. Aleksandr Rybin of Wildlife Conservation Society Russia then combined the individual images into a fantastic side-by-side composite showing how the four cousins literally stack up against one another.”
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
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