haiku-robot:

setheverman:

setheverman:

setheverman:

i always remember how big i am when i pick up a shirt and it turns out it’s my underwear

I HAVE BIG CLOTHES!!!!! BECAUSE I AM TALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND LARGE, AS A PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS WHAT THIS POST SAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DEMONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

image

out of all the things my posts have ever been tagged as, this is the worst

out of all the things
my posts have ever been tagged
as this is the worst


^Haiku^bot^6. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. | Who do I read? | Contact | HAIKU BOT NO | Good bot! | Beep-boop!

jumpingjacktrash:

oh my god.

let me share a memory with y’all. it’s from i guess 1978 or thereabouts. it’s high summer. i don’t remember where my mom was driving me, in our avocado green chevette, i just know there was a traffic jam that turned 35w northbound into a parking lot from horizon to horizon.

picture it – wait, you don’t have to use your imagination, this happened all the damn time back then.

every one of those damn cars was burning leaded gasoline. there were no emissions regulations. there were no safety regulations. there were just thousands and thousands of detroit steel shoeboxes belching visible smoke as they idled, engines loud and hot, here and there a radiator giving up in the heat, a cloud of burning oil rising.

i, a smeet of five or six, was choking on toxic smog.

i reckon it was about a half hour into the traffic jam that i first threw up. i remember a blinding headache, i remember being confused, i remember dry heaving with my arms and head hanging out the window, the green metal of the car burning my hands and my chin. i don’t remember passing out, but i’m told i lost consciousness before mom was able to get to an off-ramp, because there were no emergency lanes on the highways back then.

i lived. and life went on. what were we going to do, complain? if i’d died, the cause of death probably would’ve been recorded as heatstroke, not carbon monoxide poisoning.

i know i’m probably preaching to the choir here on tumblr. but i really wish i could tell that story to the people who think deregulation is no big deal. i wish they’d put themselves in my mom’s shoes.

or even just look at some old pictures, then look out the window.

ever notice how cityscapes used to have that orange tint and hazy aura? yeah, that’s poison gas.

remember how the mississippi river used to be a stinking soup of baby-shit yellow sludge covered with disturbingly stiff rafts of light orange foam?

i can’t even find pictures of the sludge and foam, i guess they didn’t end up on the internet. the smell was indescribable. that oily shimmer. the reek of dead things. people didn’t boat on the river for pleasure; it smelled too bad, it was too ugly, and you could get super super sick if you touched the water.

and now look at it.

i still wouldn’t want to drink it, but if i fell in i wouldn’t bolt for the shower in a panic, you know?

if the thieving billionaires get their way, we can kiss those sailboats goodbye, and learn the smell of toxic foam once more. the ultra-rich won’t even feel the extra money, they’ve already got more than they could ever touch, they just stash it in offshore accounts to rot, but the rest of us will return to a time of neverending nausea and weird cancers. a time when every elementary school class had at least one kind who’d been born with no fingers or their heart outside their body, and this was just… the way things were.

i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to longpost. it’s just. god. y’all have no idea how CLEAN everything is now, compared to when i was a kid. and these rich old men are counting on that, on people not knowing or not remembering how bad it was before regulation, not realizing how much we need these protections until it’s too late.

tariqah:

christmas-kuchen:

These photos were taken around one year apart.  One year.

Can you imagine living your life without teeth?

https://www.gofundme.com/toothless-and-desperate

Have a brief example of what you’d experience:

– Unable to eat properly, your health and physical well-being suffers significantly and this shortens your life over time.  If you’re like me and have weak jaws, you’ll likely not be able to chew well; you’re going to be swallowing lumps of things, which is uncomfortable, gross, and unhealthy.

-Eating can be very painful, to the point you’re going to be eating soup, mashed potatoes, or cream of wheat for at least a few meals.

-Self-confidence tanks, and so can your mental health; this has really f*cked me up, leaving me intensely depressed to the point where I’ve pretty much cried for entire days, not to mention trying to adjust to this nightmare that has become my life.

– Dentures generally need to be pasted into your mouth (the paste doesn’t usually last that well, and isn’t a fix-all.  It also tastes pretty foul.) and tend to cause anything from mild discomfort to bad pain.

– You don’t get to eat anything sticky, chewy, etc.; no more toffee, gum, unprocessed meat, salad (yes, even things like lettuce and spinach are VERY difficult to eat.  And, forget fresh fruit and veggies.  Too firm,

– No biting with your front teeth.  

– There is no real ‘resting place’ for your lower jaw – it’s uncomfortable and even painful to have your gums pressed together, and letting your lower jaw relax and ‘hang’ is almost as bad.

– Have you heard someone speak without teeth?  You’re liable to repeat things A LOT and feel self-conscious and stupid.

-People will shun you, or give you repulsed looks.

-Try looking for work when you look like I do, all gums and no teeth.  No way you’re getting an interview or a call back.

https://www.gofundme.com/toothless-and-desperate

Not to mention that your JAWS SHRINK and make it even more difficult to eat/speak and are prone to FRACTURING.

That’s why I am on my knees, begging and praying for the donations I so desperately need to replace my teeth with implants.

Implants act like REAL TEETH and I could eat/speak as before and my jaws would stop shrinking.  But, I live in poverty and am disabled.  I can’t afford it alone.  I’m scared this is going to be the end of me.

https://www.gofundme.com/toothless-and-desperate

HELP THEM!!

hyperwhisper:

thebeachboys:

askinnyblackman:

korolevcross:

somethinggenericyetfunny:

tripropellant:

i looked this guy up to check if this was real and almost every single video on youtube that has audio of his music is blocked in the USA and doesn’t even show up unless you see them in playlists

For those that want to listen to it, it’s even better than you’re imagining.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1H2mSa41a0J

what the fuck is going on. surely this is by someone else this can’t actually be a real song. “i am the big weird man” doesn’t even turn up any results on Google so either you made this song on the spot or it’s a 100% real thing by the big bopper himself

fun fact: the reason this is so rare is the recording was actually found at the site of the plane crash that killed him, ritchie valens, and buddy holly, and remained unreleased for some time. the heat from the crash warped the master tape a bit, which gives the recording its slightly wavy out of tune feeling. regardless, it survived, while the three rock and roll pioneers did not. Very eerie..

((That’s actually false. This is a song by EconomyBacon on Sound Cloud (x). It’s intentionally supposed to sound cursed. He has many more songs like this one. ))