“May I hug you?”
“When I ask you if you want to do something, you know it’s always okay to say no, right?”
“Let me know if you get uncomfortable, okay?”
“How do you feel about (x activity)?”
(When someone’s insecure about having said no and asks if it’s okay/if you’re mad or upset they said no) “I’m disappointed, of course, but I’m really glad you were willing to tell me (no/that you were uncomfortable/etc.). That’s really important to me. Thank you.”
“I’d ALWAYS rather be told no than make you feel pressured or do anything to hurt you or make you uncomfortable.”
“I care about you, so when something I do hurts you or makes you uncomfortable, I want to know, because I don’t like making you feel bad.”
“Wanna do (x)? It’s okay if not, but I think it would be (fun/worthwhile/prudent).”
(When starting a social phone call): “Hey, are you busy right now?”
(When confirming plans made earlier): “Hey, are you still up for doing (x) at (time) on (day)?”
“Can I vent a little about (x)?”
“Can I tell you something (gross/depressing)?”
“Are you comfortable talking about it?”
“Do you think you could talk me through this problem I’ve been having? If you have the time and emotional energy of course.”
“It’s okay if that doesn’t work for you.”
“I’m interested in spending more time with you. Would you be interested in doing (x) together on (y day)?”
“No? Well let me know if you ever want to do something else.” (leave it open! don’t nag! let it go!)
Consent culture – it’s about way more than just sex!
Give people as much freedom as possible to make their own choices without pressure or control.
Even children deserve as much autonomy as allows them to remain safe and get their needs met – remember, you can’t train a child to make good/safe/healthy choices without ever giving them choices. A child who is taught to respect consent is a child who doesn’t assault people! A child who knows they have a right to say no is a child who knows that someone who infringes on their autonomy isn’t supposed to do that.
A consent-conscious relationship is a healthier and safer relationship, and a person who is aware of and deliberate about asking for, giving, receiving, refusing, and being refused consent is a healthier and safer person.
Day: December 18, 2017
Pancreas, I miss you.
every time i walk past his tank, this little gremlin pokes his snoot out of whatever tube he’s lounging in and begs for food. every single time. it’s the only exercise he gets all day.
not sure how this goblin noodle got 350+ notes but i’m telling him about it tonight
Your eel is ugly
did u ever stop and wonder why you’re projecting onto a stranger’s pet water noodle because frankly you might wanna do some introspecting and figure that out
#STOP CALLING PEOPLE’S PETS UGLY 2018
Tarot, Natal charts, and SMALL art commissions available
Hi! So I’m trying to leave my abusive home without having to open a GoFundMe AND I am trying and to get some things I NEED so I’m completely opening some of my commissions – paypal.me/ericamedia
Tarots:
1 card – 1$
3 cards – 3$
9 cards – 10$
Week spread – 8$
Bi-weekly – 10$
Monthly – 12$
Natal/Astrology:
Full natal chart – 25$
Few aspects pop out (3-5) – 10$
Few aspects you want to know about (3-5) – 10$
Few transits (1-3) – 10$
Dractico chart – 30$
Art: These are simple and small clean skect and color skects
Clean: 5$
Colored: 10$
So as I mentioned in the tags on my previous post theres a dude on my bus, a real libertarian, who is talking to everyone and anyone willing to make eye contact. So we’re all suddenly really intent on looking at our phones or out the window but that’s not deterring him from speaking. This moment’s current topic as we sit stuck in traffic: health insurance is a government conspiracy intended to identify the weak and sick in order to better take them out and strengthen society.
The sad thing is, things are dystopian enough right now that I’m just sitting here like yea, seems possibly legit.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for it”
….hello 911, yes, I am Uncomfortable.
This is the longest 40 minute traffic jam of my life and I once had a root canal without anaesthesia.
He’s now using the bus as a form of group therapy to talk about what he thinks is wrong with women today. Predictably it’s the lack of them in his life.
It’s amazing I can feel my blood pressure rising every time he draws breath.
So as I mentioned in the tags on my previous post theres a dude on my bus, a real libertarian, who is talking to everyone and anyone willing to make eye contact. So we’re all suddenly really intent on looking at our phones or out the window but that’s not deterring him from speaking. This moment’s current topic as we sit stuck in traffic: health insurance is a government conspiracy intended to identify the weak and sick in order to better take them out and strengthen society.
The sad thing is, things are dystopian enough right now that I’m just sitting here like yea, seems possibly legit.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for it”
….hello 911, yes, I am Uncomfortable.
The best thing about these kind of white male Libertarians (and I’ve never met one who wasn’t) Is that they actually believe they are just heroes who will be given their true chance when society weeds out the weak and restores them to their thrones as True Rulers.
They do think this. It’s hilarious.
These guys have guns at their house (and have never been to the range except to impress other men) because they imagine that they themselves will stop an armed robbery by a full gang of dudes instead of pissing their pants and giving the guy their stereo because no amount of accessories are worth dying for, like a reasonable human facing someone with WAY more firepower.
They really do think that the reason they aren’t successful yet is that the universe isn’t ready for the mighty mighty mediocrity that is these total heroes. “If the Guvmint comes fer me, I’mma resist them! The power of one man, which is ME, the Hero of this story, is -” Air strike. BOOM. And pages of Ayn Rand novels come fluttering to the ground around a crater.
Annnnd I’m turning off anon cuz this kind of opinion gets you death threats.
It’s amazing the mental gymnastics he’s doing to fit the world into his contorted view of humanity.
Someone politely told him to be quiet and now he’s raving about censorship. It’s iconic tbh.
This reminds me of the time I ended up on a bus where a guy got on and started ranting like this (in Southeast LA) and got a mixture of sympathetic nods (yeah, the government does suck and wages war on the poor/disabled/disenfranchised) and revulsion…before he turned it into a “AND THIS IS WHY WE NEED JESUS, WE’RE ALL GOING TO HELL UNLESS WE REPENT AND JOIN THIS CHURCH”
which, okay, now you’ve totally lost any sympathy on the bus and we just want you to stop and we were ready to go back to the we’re-taking-public-transport-in-Los-Angeles-let-us-ride-in-peace state…
before the BUSDRIVER jumped in and proceeded to argue with the guy about how evangelist!Rider was wrong but evangelist!Driver’s church and view of Jesus was correct.
All of us Experienced!Riders™ just got this look on our face like we were approaching a train at full speed with no brakes in sight, while the handful of tourists (complete with luggage and guide books and fannypacks) tried to interrupt to ask directions, while the rest of us were all “no, no, do not engage! We will do whatever, we just want to get this ride over with asap with no bloodshed”
As we passed each stop, the evangelist!rider seemed to have no desire to get off, and half the people just got in the back of the bus to avoid the argument (complete with bible verses and pamphlets), until we got to the end of the line where we piled off of the bus…and left the driver and rider still arguing.
And as far as I know, they’re still arguing over whose denomination is better and which one is going to hell.
evidence that ancient paleolithic venus statues were made by women who were examining their own bodies and sculpting them from their own point of view, not, as previously assumed, exaggerated features from an outside perspective
Okay I love this post and the front and side views are in fact pretty close to what I, a soft round curvy lady, see when I look down at myself but what in the WORLD do you mean “Woman’s under-the-arm view of her own buttocks”??? I am standing here in my living room doing a goddamn contortionist act trying to replicate that view and it can’t be done. ARE YOU SUGGESTING that our foremothers were possessed by the Exorcist demon and could turn their heads 180 degrees to look at their own butts, or what.
I can’t quite figure out how that one is supposed to work either.
Even with hypermobility working in my favor there, the main way to see even part of my butt is looking back over one shoulder, on the verge of some neck strain. Which only kinda-sorta lets me see one side at a time. Can’t figure out how to get any view like the one shown, and that’s starting out halfway into contortionist territory.
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
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