Only, this does happen a lot when it’s “regular” physical pain people are dealing with. Especially if others don’t readily understand why the person would be experiencing pain under those circumstances.

(And yes, learning that you’re not supposed to avoid things that are causing more straightforward pain–or say much about it–can fuck you up in a lot of the same ways.)

I mean, the general point stands otherwise, at least phrased as “overload can be experienced as pain”. And nobody should be expected to disregard and push through any of it–to the point of internalizing this crap.

But, that is totally a thing that happens with just plain physical pain.

It’s pretty chilly in here, so I put on those kneewarmers. Toasty where they cover, and just a little colder above and below on the legs but not really uncomfortable.

Where I really started feeling the cold, though? My butt. Now I have cold, drafty feeling buns below the sacral brace, and it feels very weird like the seat of my pants is out or something. (Nope, the pants are fine.)

Probably time to go for the layered trouser approach again 😅

There are only TWO LGBTQ Centers in the state of Montana, and one of them is in danger of Closing


Click Here to help the Great Falls LGBTQ+ Center stay open in 2018

If you’ve been following me for a while, a lot of you already know my personal story as a bisexual woman, and how I connect with the Great Falls LGBTQ+ Center.  Like I say in the video, when I moved to Great Falls, the community I did have was gone, and I was left feeling very much like there were NO other LGBTQ people in the entire state.  Of course I knew that wasn’t true- but how to connect with them?  There just weren’t any resources.  Until the LGBTQ+ Center opened, all we had was a dwindling PFLAG chapter, and while that’s a great organization, it’s not exactly focused on US.

So when I saw a Facebook ad for the LGBTQ+ Center’s first Open House, I jumped in, signed up for their FIRST “SafeZone” training, volunteered as much as I could, and now I sit on the board of directors.  

And now i’m asking for help to keep us open.  We don’t have the money to pay for our location.  If you can spare even a dollar to help us, please consider clicking that link.  Montana is not the most gay-friendly state in the US (We’ve got our own anti-trans bathroom bill trying to get on the ballot as we speak), and we need all the help we can get.  The LGBTQ+ Center provides a safe space for people to connect, as well as mental health resources, referrals, free (and confidential) HIV testing, and serves as a rallying point in the Great Falls area for LGBTQ+ people and allies to fight against bigotry.  The only other LGBTQ+ Center in the entire state of Montana is way out west in Missoula, so it’s VITAL that we stay open!

If you can’t donate, then I implore you to please share this post far and wide.  Take the link to our fundraiser and share it to all your social media.  If you know someone with a big following who would support this cause, encourage them to share as well.  I’d love to see us blow through the $7620 goal of 1 year’s operating costs (rent+utilities) and get even more so we can ensure that we stay open for longer and make the LGBTQ+ Center even better for the whole community.

I got hold of some store brand combo cold/flu stuff when I was in college that seriously fucked me up for 2 or 3 days, worse than any of the inappropriate psych meds over the years. I didn’t even remember most of that time, I was that far out of it after a single dose. Probably wouldn’t have lasted that long if I had stuck to the one dose, but apparently I kept taking more over protests until my mom took the rest of the stuff and flushed it so I couldn’t get it back.

My mother said she would have been way more worried if she didn’t remember what happened on the few occasions they tried giving me (old formula) Actifed when I was little. As in, pretty much the same reaction–which included screaming “I hate you!!!” a lot without remembering any of it later. That was apparently the clue-in that it must be Bizarro Cold Med Reaction Time again.

Good thing I was sick enough to go home for some help before I started taking that shit, though. If I had stayed in the dorms like that, people who had never seen it before might well have gotten me committed and/or beaten up by the cops. Glad it was just my mom physically wrestling the bottle away from me eventually 😵

Who knows exactly why that reaction to those specific drugs, but that’s thankfully the only time it’s happened since I hit adulthood. You can bet I have been careful to avoid the particular antihistamines involved at all. (It was two different kinds in the formulas.) No clue if they would cause any similar response on their own, not in combination with the decongestant, but I do not want to find out.

OTOH, as far as I know, Nyquil just puts me to sleep in a very sedating antihistamine kind of way. And the slightly different formula Night Nurse available here does about the same, only it kicks in surprisingly quickly. But, idiosyncratic medication reactions are such an individual thing.

(That also seemed way more readily explained by “neurodivergent system prone to weird med reactions” than anything to do with sleep disruption. Like I said, one dose was plenty 😱)



Nyquil fucks me up every time I take it and furthermore, has the audacity to make me forget what fucking happens every single time.  Since taking it at about midnight last night, My day:

  • Woke up at 4-6 AM and apparently did the dishes
  • Fiance gets up at 8:00AM, allegedly has fully cognizant conversation with me about his plans to stay late and tutor classmates. I don’t remember even being awake.
  • at 9:32 AM, my Dad called me and i had a 23-minute phone call with him that I have no recollection of, but apparently I spent most of it discussing the merits and drawbacks of the various tablets my mother is interested in.  I was mad about how expensive updating storage capacity was for most of them.
  • Felling way more sober than I actually am, attempt to drive to school at 10:12.  and spend enough time confused why my keys aren’t working on my car that my neighbor actually comes out of his apartment to ask what I’m doing to his car.  I decide to stay home.
  • 10:40: Send emails to professors to tell them I’m in no shape to be in class.  I think I am eloquent. Upon opening my email later I realize I’ve sent them emails with the subject line “fuckt up” and message: “sorry, love you.”
  • Benefits of going to a small college: they know I’ve got exciting drug reactions already and are sick as well and reply with “I understand and hope you are feeling well soon, here is today’s lecture slides” and “lol” respectively.
  • ~11- 12:30 : Get lost in neighborhood walking dog.  In my defense, it’s 99% off-beige generic prefab housing on nonlinear-bordering-on-noneuclidean streets and Charlie had no interest in going home either.
  • 12:30-3:00: Wall
  • 3:00 : phone alarm goes off and I suddenly realize fiance was supposed to be home an hour and a half ago. Fly into immediate panic, try to find phone to call him and/or the sherrif becuase he’s obviously dead in a ditch or something.  I am holding my phone the whole time.
  • 3:16 : Fiance gets home, I cry like a bitch, the dog also cries, everyone has a really bad 15 minutes.
  • 3:33 : Realize I haven’t actually ate or drank yet today. Immediately consume a quart of apple cider and plate of taquitos.  Make pork chops and potatoes and don’t stop talking about what happens if a werewolf has sex with a dog while shifted the entire time.
  • 4:00: pass out on couch to the soothing sounds of Mario Oddesy
  • 1AM: Why is it thursday?

The moral of the story is that you should always write down any drug reactions and label medication you should take with a large index card that says “DO NOT TAKE THIS IT FUCKS YOU UP THEN YOU FORGET” in large, friendly letters.

To answer a few questions about this post:

  • I didn’t take anything Except the Nyquil the previous night.
  • This happens to me with most sinus medication- benadryl, children’s cold meds, nasal sprays etc. 
  • According to my Psychiatrist, some people with ADHD, Bipolar, Depression or TBI can have really weird reactions to sinus drugs because they fuck with your sleep/wake cycle, though the exact mechanisms are unknown.  
  • Out here, “Apple Cider” is apple juice made with the skin left in, the boozy stuff is called “Hard Cider”
  • “Wall” refers to the act of lying on one’s side, staring at the spackle with nary a thought in one’s skull. It’s soothing, except for the part where you don’t actually feel like anything. 0/10, not reccomended.
  • My conclusion is that it results in wolf-hybrids with werehumanism, thank you two people who asked.