Needing to remind myself again that I’m probably not managing too badly, all things considered.
Especially when “all things” starts from a baseline of gimping around on a badly healing celiac-related pelvic fracture for too many years now. And yes, that really really hurts for just about anybody. Phrases like “severe decrease in functional ability and quality of life” keep coming up, too. How about that? 😩
And that’s before factoring in anything else that might be going on, just that type of injury. There’s also no way I’m just imagining it’s an ongoing problem, as well trained as the jerkbrain may be to keep circling back around to that idea. You can clearly feel the fracture line, and it would take some truly special mental powers to somehow make it keep swelling up.
As you might be able to gather there, I was feeling like my coping ability was running on fumes in 2013. But, here I am, plugging along with that “severe decrease in functional ability and quality of life”. With other stuff continuing to pile up. With that just one thing it’s easy to point to as a legitimate problem anyone would struggle with. What else are you going to do? You get on with things the best you can.
But, of course it wouldn’t be easy for anyone. And I would (rightly) feel like a mean-spirited jackass if I heaped even a fraction of the criticism on anyone else.
Looking at it rationally, it’s kind of surprising it did take as much piling up as it did to send me into meltdowns. Talk about overwhelming stimuli you can’t get away from, when it’s your own body doing terrible shit. No amount of fucked-up stoicism is going to change that, and it’s also just plain mean to lay that on any person.
But yeah, it can also be hard to tell when you are doing your best when that hasn’t tended to get much credit. And when you’ve been pushed most of your life to toughen up in ways that you just can’t, because disability. Major complications for too many people.
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