woodelf68:

ednursey:

theoffensivemomma:

stardustandswirls:

me to the demon in the corner of my room: ain’t u got shit to do

He’d been lurking about for days now, this shadow thing. It used to scare me, terrify me straight into insomnia. But it had just stood there the whole time. Now it seemed part of the furniture, if I’m being honest.

I started talking to it. Probably not my best idea, I’ll give you that, but it’s not like I had anyone else around. I would tell it about my day as I readied for bed. Jeff was a dick at the meeting this morning. Had the best hot dog off the best cart in the city for lunch. SIX reports due by Friday? Kellen must be trying to kill me. I even wished it good night. And it just stared, with its glowing red eyes.

One night, I had to stay late at the office. Really late. Remember those six reports? They turned into fifteen. And if I didn’t get them done for this major client, it was my head on the HR guillotine. So I stayed late. I ended up crashing on the sofa in the break room and woke up to more work on my desk. That was Thursday morning. I had to get this all done by Monday.

On Friday night, around ten, I decided to go home and get some real sleep before going back to the office to finish this insane task. And then I felt it. Something was here with me and it wasn’t the janitor.

I looked in the corner and there were those eyes again, surrounded by shadow. I sighed. I really didn’t have time for this, not here.

“Ain’t you got shit to do?” I snapped, walking to the break room for yet more coffee. So much for going home to sleep.

A growling sound, then a deep, rasping voice said, “I miss you.”

I stopped. “What do you mean, you miss me? Aren’t you a demon or something?”

“You didn’t come home. I’ve been worried. What are you doing here?”

We’d never conversed like this. It was almost comforting, like a friend would be.

“I’m working, man. I’ve got a big client coming on Monday and Kellen put all these damn reports on my desk and if I don’t get them done, I’m probably gonna get fired.” I ranted as I took off my tie and ran my fingers through my hair.

The demon paused, thinking. It moved slowly around the room, taking it all in.

“Do you want me to eat Kellen?” it suddenly asked.

I laughed, “No, don’t eat Kellen. It’s not really his fault.”

“Then what shall I do?”

I sighed and considered. What could a shadow demon do to help me?

“Do you know anything about graphic design and marketing?”

It paused its roaming. “I ate an artist’s soul, once.”

“Good enough. Just sit behind me and tell me what looks good.”

On Monday morning, the company landed the client, I got a raise, and arranged it so I could work from home two days a week. We moved to a bigger flat two months later. It makes cinnamon pancakes on Saturdays.

I love this honestly

“I ate an artist’s soul, once.”

“Good enough.”

brunhiddensmusings:

impuretale:

jas720:

sunbeargirl:

crotchetybushtit:

maatuultulivesi:

does no one realize that robin hood was a terrible role model for young kids? i mean you are stealing from people (illegal) and those people (usually) worked hard to get their wealth. it really demotivates people to succeed when they know they can get something someone else worked for.

is this what rich people worry about lmao

who knew the sheriff of nottingham had a blog

How does someone read Robin Hood and miss the part where it’s set in feudal England. He stole from people who got their wealth by exploiting the poor, incidentally that’s all rich people to this very day.

Tune in next week when they tell you the story of Ebeneezer Scrooge, a benevolent job creator, harassed during his sleeping hours by the hellish socialist dead. 

it wasn’t even just medieval england, it was at a specific part of the evolution of feudalism where peasants got an even shittier deal then they usually got as the nobility was trying to usurp power from the royalty by squeezing any economic gains they could from the populace.

how is that different then normal feudalism? in normal feudalism your peasants reported to a minor local lord, think ‘shift manager’, who was deeply invested in the peasants of their village staying happy and productive as their income was your income- listening to the needs of those villagers with at least some concern and reacting whenever possible. however in this version of feudalism imagine the district manager that only pops in once a month fires the shift manager, pockets their wages, doesnt give two shits about whats going wrong you had better increase production by 20% by november or someones house is on fire to set an example

the setting of robin hood specifically focuses on how the social contract of the day had been screwed up royally and suddenly produced a large number of displaced peasants and minor lords (-sir- robin of loxley, notice he has no lands anymore) who had suddenly been shoved out of a functioning system so that someone higher up the ladder could pocket extra money in their bids for power. said displaced peasants had no option other then to become outlaws (being an outlaw sucked, they would much rather be farming) and said displaced minor lords only had the option of outlaw or being a heavily armed toady for the assholes who literally just put them out of a job

its depressing that this is the most relevant robin hood has been since the tudor era

stephrc79:

riverofwhispers:

iverbz:

dipsetflag:

iverbz:

i sleep nude because if someone ever breaks into my house they gotta fight me while im naked and i dare you to try and swing on a nigga when his dick is out

You are grade A guarenteed to get yourself hurt with this mindset? You think I’m afraid to grab a dick and yank it, bruh? You think I won’t get my hands dirty on your dick in order to end you? You got the wrong one, man—and your ass better hope I don’t have a knife.

Okay weirdly this exact situation has happened to me. It was summer so I was sleeping naked, but then I heard the lock on the front door being opened. I thought someone was breaking into my house and I had enough time to either grab my sword or my nightgown, not both.

Two things I learned.

One, sometimes apartment complexes will flat out forget to tell you they’re sending someone over from the fire department to check your fire extinguishers.

Two, no matter how bad ass a person thinks they are, a naked person swinging a sword at them will knock them off balance both physically and mentally.

However, the fireman was very nice about it and accepted my apology.

didn’t think it could get any better, yet here we are

madxstitcher:

my-wanton-self:

aveanexalea:

I know many of you out there are feeling a bit down. Have a crow to Wouldn’t it be Nice by the Beach Boys to lift your mood.

And you just know that right around the corner that crow got into his faded orange VW Kombi van with the surfboards strapped on top and hit the beach.

This crow is 100% fucking around for no reason other than to fuck around. Birds have two main gaits depending on where they live – they put one foot in front of the other if they live on the ground, or they hop if they live in the trees. Crows live on the ground, and thus walk. They have no reason to hop like this, and they aren’t wired or built to move like this naturally. They might hop to quickly avoid danger that’s very limited, like a car tire coming at them, or to get up onto the curb, but this sort of motion has no purpose other than being fun.

neodymium-klefki:

browniec:

gardnerhill:

did-you-kno:

The Navajo language was chosen to
code U.S. military operations because
it has no written form and is almost
impossible for non-native speakers to
learn. After the operation was
declassified in 1968, the Japanese Chief
of Intelligence admitted that though
his army had been able to decipher
many U.S. codes, they were never
able to crack the Navajo code. Source Source 2

And the irony is that if the U.S. government had gotten their way, there would have been NO Navajo speakers at all by WWII. First Nations Children were forcibly taken to “Indian schools” for decades starting in the 1890s, where they were viciously punished for speaking a word of their own language. The fact that the language survived to become an asset to the country that tried to kill it doesn’t get mentioned often.

It’s very important that the above comment be reblogged along with the OP information.

I’m inclined to say that the “almost impossible for non-native speakers to learn” is some bullshit, though; sure, Navajo/Diné bizaad makes use of a combination of phonological and grammatical features that doesn’t occur in European languages, but the same is true of Japanese, Korean, Hindi, Māori, Cantonese, Xhosa, etc.

The barriers to learning
Navajo/Diné bizaad are rather more pragmatic in origin, viz.:

  • concerted efforts to exterminate the language & culture leading to loss of linguistic knowledge (and perhaps linguistic insecurity among native speakers)
  • a perception that the language isn’t “worth learning” because it’s not a “world language” or whatever
  • the idea, particularly prevalent among Anglophone cultures, that English is the only language anyone ever needs
  • no effort made by governments to develop teaching and learning resources in
    Navajo/Diné bizaad

  • systematic impoverishment of native speakers of
    Navajo/Diné bizaad creating barriers to the kind of education that leads people to become language teachers
  • racist fantasies of Native languages being mindless babble
  • etc., etc.

tl;dr I’m pretty sure
Navajo/Diné bizaad is considered
“almost impossible for non-native speakers to learn”

largely as a result of white people thinking it’s worthless