“Why is it that you never come into my house unless I invite you?” “Um, it’s called ‘being polite’…?”
“I tried cooking with garlic the other night and got this serious burn on my hand. I think I’m allergic, but all I’m getting on Google is vampire bullshit.”
“Dude can a mirror like… stop working or something?”
“Dude, why do you keep posting pictures of the floor?” “…Those are meant to be selfies, I guess my camera must be broken.”
“Dude, I am all for you expressing your religious beliefs, but could you not wear your crucifix when I’m around? It really bugs me for some reason.”
“Have you ever noticed how cute bats are? like really noticed? sweet lil balls of fluff with wings man.”
“I want to sleep in a coffin…ya kno, for like… aesthetic”
“What’s with your thing about necks lately?”
“MUST YOU KINKSHAME ME IN MY OWN HOME”
“I looked up my symptoms on WebMD, and it says I have cancer.”
Not posting the whole thing here as not very accessible screenshots, because it’s fairly long, but it’s well worth clicking through. So are some of the replies.
Some pretty disturbing stuff, but that’s how things have been going here. And this person is British. Nobody in our house is.
I never felt particularly welcome as a non-white non-EU person, but the atmosphere has deteriorated over the past few years to the point that my Scandinavian partner has been wanting out for a while now. After 15+ years, previously planning to take British citizenship and stay indefinitely. I was just about willing to stay.
Not anymore, and we’re far from the only ones. There’s been a lot of direct scapegoating of Eastern Europeans alongside the usual Scary Brown People, to make things that much better for @IsolatedBrit’s partner. But, it’s really not a great environment for pretty much anyone who is not White British these days. And I’m definitely not imagining it.
bullying is abuse. full stop. bullying is abuse, bullies are abusers. if you have been bullied, you have been abused.
bullying is not a lesser form of abuse. it is not normal. it is not beneficial. victims do not need to ‘grow up’ or ‘get over it’. you are not childish or immature for being hurt by it.
bullying can cause mental health problems. bullying can cause trauma. mental health problems and trauma caused by abuse are completely valid. bullying is not a lesser form of abuse and the effects of bullying are not lesser forms of pain.
bullying comes in a lot of different forms. essentially, if you were excluded or humiliated or mocked or physically abused or in any other way treated as inferior by your peers, you were bullied.
bullying is never the victim’s fault. never. the abusers will always find an excuse to hurt you but they don’t need an actual reason.
the effects of bullying can last a lifetime. all this is true if you’re being bullied right now, and all this is true if it’s been a year. five years. fifteen years. abuse can have long-term effects and healing is not a question of maturity.
bullying isn’t discussed nearly enough but seriously, it can be hellish and if you’re going through it or you’ve been through it, i’m with you. keep going.
I honestly have a problem with calling “excluding” bullying.
If they don’t like you, they won’t have you with them. Plain and simple.
The rest of this post is fine, but not being in the clique is not bullying. You don’t force someone to be your friend.
Exclusion is more than just not belonging to a group. It’s totally ignoring someone, leaving them out of trends that should be able to apply to everyone, and basically not treating them as a member of “everyone”.
Bullying leaves you with the indelible impression that you can be attacked by strangers in public spaces- which are supposed to be accessible to everyone- at will and that no one will care or do anything about it.
Abuse made me unsafe at home, but bullying made me unsafe anytime I left my house. That’s pretty fucking serious. Bullying taught me that public spaces exist for everyone else except me. When you’re an adult they call it harassment and it’s supposed to be a crime- whether or not it is depends on whether or not anyone in authority will enforce the law.
It’s pretty much an awful combination of black households owing more money than they make, top universities having little to no black students, the high unemployment rate amongst black people, and the city itself electing little to no black politians. It’s terrible. And not only that , but the gap between black wealth and white wealth is prominent nationwide.
This isn’t black people being bad with money, this is from people like trump actively targeting black communities for their vulnerability.
These are the scams that are not only legal but have just been reaffirmed in the new tax cut. Politicians don’t care about black, brown, gay, trans people they just care about their votes so they can stay in long enough to cash out.
We know this but to say 8 dollars is an average net worth. This alone is proof of extorting black resources. There’s literally no “pumping it back” into any system. It’s robbing blind — until the numbers come out and there’s a ACTUAL negative 247,492 dollars in average gap.
And like I said, this recently passed tax cut is literally reaffirming the legality of this forever-scam.
This shit is why I get so angry when people act like this sort of thing is a republican only issue. This is a very liberal state, solid blue, has highly praised politcians like warren…
And it is REALLY FUCKING RACIST. Like uncomfortably so once you notice it even when you are white. A lot of suburban areas got a worrying amount of trump votes.
But everyone brags about how progressive they are. Mocks the south for being racist and then turns around to complain about brown people moving into town. People here really want to act like they are better then people in red states because we have more progressive laws but half of them vote against the progressive laws anyway.
Ugly girls are only seen by other ugly girls. Here they are, dragging their heavy luggage up a flight of stairs as a sea of men pass by, without even thinking to stop and help. Here they are, sitting in bars trying to hide their despair behind their book. Their ugliness can be an objective beauty, flashing eyes and strong noses and swanny necks. But if it’s not subjective, if the desired gender doesn’t respond, if the parents don’t respond to it, if it’s complicated and grown-into, if it doesn’t attract, then it settles on the girl like ugliness. Christine Chubbuck was striking. But I can’t tell if I can see that only because I’m a fellow ugly girl, of the long untouched variety, the men will call me their kindred souls and then marry someone prettier and softer variety. Because in her posture and manner is the weight of the undesired.
I think this is also a trans feel (not sure, but I’ve heard transwomen talk about it). Particularly this bit: “the men will call me their kindred souls and then marry someone prettier and softer variety.”
(Separately, I just Googled the woman mentioned plus the quote author, and they seem attractive? I notice I am confused.)
it’s addressed in the piece. something about if you can’t meet gender expectations (not in those words) it “settles on you like ugliness”
Something really horribly upsetting to me is to watch this sort of thing hit my transgirl friends.
Like one of my transgirl friends keeps describing these miserable situations that was basically like, my entire high school experience. There is this thing that happens where women are nice on a surface level, they act supportive, their words are very nice. But you can’t help but notice you are like a 5th wheel. You don’t get included in stuff, you to your face are treated like everyone else under certain circumstances but not included in others.
The result of this is like… this weird space where you are “respected” but not included? Like you are a girl, everyone knows you are a girl, calls you a girl etc. But you still on some level do not get treated quite like a normal girl, by both men and women. But they aren’t misgendering you or anything so you can’t say anything. It sems to be subconscious.
I feel like this is important because this applies to like… so many people I know who used to or currently ID as cisgirlsLike if a fairly sizable amount of cisgirls are excluded from womanhood this way, but no one actually acknowledges it. The author isn’t actually ugly she should be fine right? There is probably not a single thing that she can point out that she is doing to cause that sort of liminal space of being treated as a girl but then not. She can pick out things that are not normal enough about herself to hate, to beat herself up over not being able to change etc. but never know what thing is wrong. No one can give you a clue what is wrong with you, just that you are wrong and it’s unsympathetic.
This is the main reason for my social dysphoria. It’s the main reason I can’t ID as a girl anymore. I tried very hard for many years to be a girl and never actually accomplished it. Now I can say now in retrospect, maybe people latched on to my undiagnosed disabilities or something, that I never confromed to gender properly etc. but the fact is I had very little even in retrospect working against me to create a situation where no one sees me as a girl in more then name only. Ironically after changing my pronouns because I was sick of trying to be something no one would ever see me for I am treated basically the same even in trans spaces because nb people generally get grouped in with whatever binary gender is “closest”.
I don’t know if I am expressing this right but I kind of feel like the goalposts moved to be more inclusive to transwomen etc but did so more in label the practice. It’s the off feeling I get from people who make posts about how terfs should die then write posts full of what is basically word for word terf rhetoric. Your body is fine, your experiences and opinions aren’t.
I think the concept behind this is one of those things that you only get to discuss in certain contexts. Like as long as I add disability on I am allowed to express frustration that I cannot figure out my own gender because I am consistantly treated as half-girl regardless of what words I use, but I cannot escape the very uncomfortable awareness that it happens even when I am passing. The fact this is naturally ingrained into womens spaces in a way that it happens even if they don’t KNOW that sort of thing means you cannot fix transwomen getting that shit by removing terfs.
Idk I have spent a lot of my life watching friends cry over bad things that also happened to me and being told I cannot understand because it happened for a different reason. That the one thing they feel ugly about is the only reason. I have had this conversation with so many girls and it kills me. It kills me to watch transgirl friends relive emotional damage I took 10 years ago and I can’t do shit because they are CONVINCED it’s because they aren’t passing and internalize it as dysphoria when there is probably nothing that they could do. On some level I suspect it’s SPECIFICALLY being vulnerable that does it so it becomes a horrible self hate spiral.
Sometimes you aren’t ugly at all. Sometimes you’re just an easy target. But being told otherwise never is going to sink in when you are treated that way and it takes a lot more then superficial acceptance to stop this shit. I wish people talked about this sort of thing more because it allows more way of approaching the stuff hurting you and more support from more places.
i know u all dont mean any harm with it but… i feel like a lot of people act like ableism is exclusively about nd abled people.. and while not everyone might believe that disabled people don’t face any form of oppression… a lot of people tend to act like it.
for example people say stuff like “you wouldn’t say a disabled person doesn’t need their cane/wheelchair, so why would you say an nd person doesn’t need so and so?” and it’s like.. people say stuff like that. people poke people’s hearing aid, ask intrusive questions to blind people like “how do you know when to stop wiping?”..
and often people do tell disabled people to just get over it, that they don’t have it that bad, that they just are exaggerating about pain or incapability to do something… or they demand too much of us physically… and this is all unfortunately a thing.
people will say that if you can stand at all, you don’t need a wheelchair.. people will say that you don’t need a cane if you’re capable of walking any distance without it.. or people say if you can hear anything at all you don’t need hearing aid.. and people will try to dismiss a lot of conditions as not being severe enough, or people will say someone’s symptoms aren’t serious enough..
and while i get people don’t mean to be dismissive.. they way too often do act like neurotic abled people are the only people ever to face invalidating struggles from nt abled people.. and that “people would never say this to a disabled/blind/deaf person!”..
because people do actually say these things to us.. and it often leads to not getting help, accommodation, support, and medication we need… it leads to actual material disadvantage to have our disabilities challenged.
Look, just any time you say, “No one would ever say [bigoted thing] to [oppressed group]” you’re wrong. 100% wrong.
Just straightup change your phrasing. “The SAME WAY it would be wrong to say [bigoted thing] to [oppressed group], it’s ALSO wrong to say [other bigoted thing] to [other oppressed group]”
Look! One tiny change in phrasing, and you’ve gone from totally invalidating another group’s struggle to supporting and showing solidarity for them as well!
Okay, but can we not with the “neurodivergent abled vs. disabled” thing? It’s all disability.
Just say ND vs. able-bodied or something. I know it’s semantic but I can’t go back to the days of terrible marauders4ever comics mocking people who call out ableist language and insisting that mentally ill/developmentally disabled/intellectually disabled people are privileged over wheelchair users please
Also like… there are probably more people who are BOTH then just one?
Ableism against mentally ill people means doctors think ever symptom you have is psychosomatic, often delaying care for years causing permanent damage.
Ableism against physically disabled people means constantly dealing with a significantly worse mental experience then people like to give doctors sympathy and credit for where you are constantly fighting barriers to exist. Constantly having to worry about medical problems being mismanaged. You usually can’t come out of it without PTSD.
Basically what I am saying is, the “temporarily abled” thing probably applies 10x harder to people who are only physically disabled or only mentally disabled then it does normal abled people because as soon as you have one your risk of the other skyrockets because ableism and the health care system will gradually do more and more damage until you break.
How rare this is and will be……..the approval of the listing of a species as endangered under the Endangered Species Act during the trump administration. Strange the approved listing is for a salamander that lives in Alabama.
Excerpt:
A large aquatic salamander found only in the Black Warrior River basin in Alabama has been granted federal protections under the Endangered Species Act.
Conservation groups call the waterdog one of the most endangered amphibians in the country, and its populations have been heavily impacted by habitat degradation and segmentation, as well as pollution and sedimentation of the Black Warrior tributaries in which it lives.
As part of the listing, the Fish and Wildlife Service designated 420 river miles within the river basin as critical habitat for the waterdog. That designation requires all entities that receive federal funding to ensure that their actions don’t imperil the species. It does not impact what private landowners can do on their own lands, so long as those actions don’t require a federal permit on their own.
The FWS said in its announcement said the critical habitat designation “should have minimal or no impact on the forestry and coal mining community.”
“Since there are already critical habitat designations for other species in this area, very little additional regulatory action will be necessary for the waterdog,” the Service said. “The designation will also have no impact on private landowners taking actions on their land that do not require federal funding or permits.”
The species was evaluated as part of a legal settlement between the Fish and Wildlife Service and environmental groups led by the Center for Biological Diversity, which sued FWS after the agency delayed listing decisions for years.
The Black Warrior waterdog was first put on the candidate waiting list in 1982 and the Center for Biological Diversity petitioned FWS to list the waterdog as endangered in 2004 and again in 2010.
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
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