fullyarticulatedgoldskeleton:

alarajrogers:

fandomsandfeminism:

Im saying that it exists on a spectrum of violence that is ineffective at best and deeply harmful at worst. You have taught them that it they are upset or overwhelmed, that you will hurt them. You have not taught them how to cope with disappointment, being overwhelmed, or upset. Im not saying that this one exact hypothetical is abusive, but that it represents non ideal parenting that resorts to violence to gain compliance.

Also, smacking someone who is in hysterics to make them stop being hysterical is only a consistent technique in movies. In real life, it’s just as likely to make a child having a meltdown scream harder, because now not only are their emotions overwhelming them but they’re also in pain and feel betrayed by their parents. It would only have a hope of working if the child is actually able to control themselves and is choosing not to… but most kids having total freaking meltdowns in public are overwhelmed emotionally and don’t have control.

What’s striking to me is the double think inherent in framing something as a few light swats to the butt. If the point isn’t to hurt the child but get their attention or distract them, why is it specifically the butt people always want to target? Why not a tap on the shoulder, or a hug, or something? It’s always like “well yeah I agree that you should never slap a child in the face, but what about a light tap on the butt?” That’s such a humiliating place to target a child. It betrays what the abuser really wants to do, which is hurt and humiliate the kid for being an inconvenience. Otherwise it’d be a tap on the shoulder, or a hug, or literally trying to find any other way other than spanking. People who really want to find alternatives to abuse would be asking questions like, “If my child is having a meltdown, would it help to pick them up and take them somewhere else?” But this is the hill these people want to die on, constantly trying to reframe spanking as a “gentle tappy tap on the tush!” Why do you want to touch your kid’s ass so bad?