in response to the ask about being a neat freak (/post/169904482919) – i’m the same! i have to wash the dishes as soon as i’m done cooking because washing one pan is less work than washing five if i let it pile up, i have to put everything back in its place or i’ll lose it, i have to write down my appointments so i remember to show up, i have to keep my living space tidy because i get very easily overwhelmed by visual/spatial clutter (i think it might be a sensory issue, i’m not sure?) [1/2]


[2/2] until not that long ago i actually suspected i was autistic rather than having ADHD because the way i behave is often similar to having rigid routines and thinking patterns, but then i realised most of my ritual/‘neat-freak’ behaviours have a practical basis behind them – i think it’s mostly my way of managing executive dysfunction and a few other ADHD symptoms? 

(This post.)

I would add that it’s similar for a lot of autistic people: there are practical reasons for needing routines. Including working around lousy executive function. Seems like another one of those areas of overlap.



so my dog has no food right now and is eating table scraps and some cat food so if anyone can send like $5-$10 that would be great I don’t get paid until march-april because I don’t have enough credits this term to qualify for my financial aid.

I want to thank everyone for the donations. I have enough to buy a couple bags of dog food, so now the issue is not as immediate. Since I do not get paid for a few months, I will still hope for donations but I can go to the store on Monday now and not worry that a bag of dog food will overdraw my bank.

putting out fires




Earlier I realised that when something bad happens suddenly, I tend to react to it quite well. Like if I drop something, i’m good at catching it, or if someone hurts themselves badly, i do what needs to be done with a suprisingly cool head. 

And I realised it’s probably something to do with my ADHD?

Like, with our brains, time is weird. There is only NOW and NOT NOW. We don’t cope well with NOT NOW. But if something needs to be done NOW, we’ll do it NOW. Like getting an assignment done only when it’s about to be due in. 

So if say, there’s a fire to put out (and yes, I have had to put out… too many fires because of my inattention) then it needs to be put out NOW. 

And I dunno, I guess with ADHD you get a lot more practice at getting stuff done in panic mode, because that’s the only way I usually get stuff done? Friends of mine will get their homework done on time, but freak out and run away when something catches fire. But because I have to put out a lot of “life fires” I am better at dealing with “actual fires”. 

Just a weird thought… what do you think?

A few years back I read that that was a thing with some people who had survived trauma as well – basically a tendency to function well under certain kinds of extreme acute stress/physical peril even if they were sort of people who got overwhelmed by minor daily life things. I wonder if it has something to do with adrenaline and executive function?

i hope it’s ok to add this, i probably don’t have adhd but the above addition seems to have broadened the topic.

this is so true. shit goes down, im ur guy. anything from emotional upset to honest to god disaster, i am There. i am a firefighter. i lock into emergency mode and im not just ok, im better than normal. calm, clear, confident, and ready. rest of the time im a confused disaster.

and yeah, i think it’s the trauma/survival mode thing. once it kicks on, you can handle whatever is coming your way so much better. but it’s exhausting and unsustainable.

it’s emergency mode for a reason – your body will sacrifice anything to achieve it, since it is supposed to be brief and a matter of life or death. living like this long enough wears down your body and immune system. i think this is a major reason i am sick, i think it is a big reason so many of us are.