The thing I remember most, looking back on my abusive relationships, is that whenever I was angry about the way I was being treated and tried to confront my abuser it was never a fight about what I was angry about. He always made it a fight about me being angry. He always made it seem like my anger was the problem, not my abuse.

Abusers will make you believe that the abuse isn’t the problem, that your ‘irrational’ anger is the problem.

This is a major red flag in relationships to always look for, and I recommend writing down every incident where your partner, friend, or family member, or anyone, gets angry/annoyed at you for having emotions. It is abusive, and manipulative. Maybe once in a while it’s human – emotions are tricky – but do keep a log. 

Because usually, by the end of the argument you’ll be too scrambled to think anything but “it was my fault” and you won’t get why. You’ll just be exhausted.

If people are like this to you, get the hell away. They try to paint you as irrational and overemotional and they know it.

How fun. Mr. C is back up watching YouTube, after he did something ridiculous to one elbow while straightening out the mattress pad before bed.

He was already up once a little while ago to put some of his go-to Tiger Balm on it, but that apparently didn’t do enough to let him get to sleep. Doesn’t want to take anything for it, still trying to figure out if it’s just more “bendy joints being obnoxious” or if there’s some actual structural damage. (He rarely will take so much as a Tylenol, but the reasoning this time got me a tad concerned.)

Knowing him, if he’s even mentioning it? It must be pretty bad.

Would basically just curse a lot if it were my elbow by now– as one more thing–but of course it’s different when it’s somebody else. Getting more of a taste again of really wishing there were more I could do to help.




The best reddit thread I’ve ever seen was when someone asked if the gang from Always Sunny in Philadelphia could kill Darth Maul and almost all of the responses were over 4 paragraphs long

Best quote from that thread: “To give the gang a slight advantage, We’ll assume that Darth Maul has not seen any of the films in the Home Alone franchise.”




“Gender, Transition, and Ogbanje”, by Akwaeke Emezi (The Cut, 2018)

[Image description:

“The possibility that I was an ogbanje occurred to me around the same time I realized I was trans, but it took me a while to collide the two worlds. I suppressed the former for a few years because most of my education had been in the sciences and all of it was Westernized — it was difficult for me to consider an Igbo spiritual world equally, if not more valid. The legacy of colonialism had always taught us that such a world wasn’t real, that it was nothing but juju and superstition. When I finally accepted its validity, I revisited what that could mean for my gender. Did ogbanje even have a gender to begin with? Gender is, after all, such a human thing.

However, being trans means being any gender different from the one assigned to you at birth. Whether ogbanje are a gender themselves or without gender didn’t really matter, it still counts as a distinct category, so maybe my transition wasn’t located with human categories at all. Instead, the surgeries were a bridge across realities, a movement from being assigned female to assigning myself as ogbanje; a spirit customizing its vessel to reflect its nature.”

End image description.]


“In a survey of American transplant centres, active schizophrenia was an “absolute contraindication” to transplantation in 92% of cardiac units, 67% of liver units, and 73% of renal units. Controlled schizophrenia was relatively contraindicated in 51%, 65%, and 62% respectively. During the first 11 years of a heart transplantation programme in Montreal, 226 transplants were completed and 28 people were denied the procedure on the basis of a psychiatric diagnosis.

Peter Byrne, Organ transplantation and discrimination: Treatment should be available to everyone 


One of the things about “sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do” is that sure but there is a difference between doing things that aren’t pleasant but you want to do on the meta-level cuz you feel like you should do it or it supports your goals and being forced to do something