Day: January 24, 2018

trans-mom:

Sometimes your story, your feelings, and your life in regards to being trans isn’t going to meet the stereotypical narrative. Sometimes you’re going to experience things wildly different from the mainstream community and it’s going to make you feel fake, make you feel different, and make you feel alone. 

When I was growing up, I had a suspicion I might be trans. I was talking to a trans woman on a forum once and when I mentioned i thought I was trans she started telling me about parts of her life. When I failed to relate to her specifics, she told me point blank that I was absolutely not trans. I’d go on for years after that uncertain of who the hell I was, trying to discover my identity and suffering for it along the way, just to have the ultimate realization that I am a trans woman who needlessly suffered and refused to accept myself because I didn’t connect with a single narrative of transhood.

We’re all different people living different lives experiencing the world differently at different points of time – we will never have the same experiences all the time. Your path is your own and just because it’s not what mainstream media has forced down our throats as “the universal experience,” doesn’t make you any less of a trans person. You’re not as alone as you may feel, there’s many of us who are different. Don’t torture yourself over being you.

tiredtrauma:

Having a disability or a chronic illness, whether it’s physical or mental, sucks rocks sometimes. And that’s okay.

It’s okay to say “this fucking sucks”

It’s okay to say “I hate this”

It’s okay to think negatively, to have a bad day. Nobody can be positive 24/7

You have the right to be angry, or frustrated, or sad. That doesn’t mean you are dealing with things badly, that doesn’t mean you have been set back, that doesn’t make you a bad person.

You are allowed to complain about things that make your life difficult.

animate-mush:

jdkaplonski:

shoren18:

damnselfly:

quick protip: if someone is crying or freaking out over something minor, eg wifi not connecting, can’t find their hat, people talking too loud, do NOT tell them how small or petty the problem is to make it better. they know. they would probably love to calm down. you are doing the furthest possible thing from helping. people don’t have to earn expressions of feelings.

I’m just gonna put it out there that if someone’s freaking about something small, they’re really freaking out about something big that they’re trying to deal with, or something long term that’s been building up, and that little thing is the straw that broke the camel’s back.

I don’t know, try and give people the benefit of the doubt. Don’t be the next straw on their broken back.

Needed this today.

People don’t actually go from 0 to 60. If you think they did, you have failed to notice how long they’ve been at 59.

chavisory:

Do you know what I want to see die in a fire for 2018?

The trigger-happy assumption that if someone is speaking off-script or in dissent from common narratives of, say, disability or gender, that they are an insensitive, callous, fake ally who needs to be educated more or maybe go read some books, and not a person who is potentially telling you the truth about their own experiences.

The job of allies is not to help enforce a single story about a marginalized group of people, I didn’t think.  People have complicated experiences, they have inconvenient experiences, they have a right to talk about them, and they don’t necessarily owe you an itemized list of their marginalizations before they do.