Month: January 2018

lyricdissonance:

perhaps my favorite thing to happen to me at work was when i was taking the order of this tall 30-something country dude in a camo hat and jacket and he asked what extra toppings he should get on his pizza and i immediately said “whatever you want, follow your dreams” and in the following moments where i’m thinking shit why am i talking to this large southern man like a fellow college student he just looks forward at our selection of extra cheeses and repeats to himself “…follow my dreams”

bureaubaggins:

dignified-and-old:

baruchobramowitz:

Behold the most disgustingly aggressive display of Americanness

I’m just picturing some dude sitting at the dinner table, his assault rifles propped up in the other chairs

“Can you pass the salad, Mom?” he asks the AK-47, but she doesn’t pass the salad

She never passes the salad

“Hey Mom, can you pass the salad?”

“You always do this to me, Mom.”