Spotted Hyena: The classique hyena. Definitely what we all think of when we hear “hyena”. Very good round ears and a really big and cute nose. Also, very powerful jaws that make it a very good eater. Has a very beautiful laugh that deserves to be heard. The perfect doggo imitator. 15/10
Striped Hyena: Pointy ears that do a great job picking up sounds. Loves the night and enjoys hunting in the darkness and being home before sunrise. Loves to scream, and scream loudly. Owner of a set of two beautiful eyes. Also, a wonderful actor, able to fool other animals by playing dead. 13/10
Brown Hyena: Beautiful, beautiful hair! Most likely has a very good hair care routine. The rarest hyena there is, so it deserves to be cherished. Very strong jaws, capable of breaking bones shortly after birth. Very scary to even larger predators, but they have a heard of gold. FANTASTIC snoot. 14/10
Aardwolf: The SMALLEST of hyenas. Please be gentle! Really loves insects, especially termites. Has a long and sticky tongue used for eating termites, making it one of the world’s most profound bleppers. Has a cute fuzzy tail that should be considered one of the wonders of the world. Has tiny ears, tiny paws, and a tiny nose. Overall very dainty but also, very tough. 13/10
A barbarian warlord, a goblin king, a mighty necromancer, and a dark elven high priestess meet for one reason… To play Suburbs and SUVs, the hottest mundane suburban family Tabletop RPG!
“Can I roll to have a meltdown in the middle of the PTA bakesale?”
“Why?”
“To make Karen look like a bitch.”
I like this post because if you follow the analogy, the characters are going to explore the suburbs and fight an SUV.
“The SUV turns on its headlights. You are now considered blinded for *rolls a d4* 3 rounds.”
Disabled people and chronically ill people deserve to live and deserve access to the support and resources that they need without struggling to acquire these basic needs.
Okay, I’m trying to find a clean recording of that rockabilly scat song using the names of Star Wars characters as vocables that appears in the background of one scene in Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter, and do you have the faintest appreciation of what a minefield trying to search for “star wars scat” is?
Almost as awkward as googling ‘Star Wars Cantina Music” by the name they give it in-universe!
Imagine having to explain “Jizz music” in your browser history.
If I recall correctly, the cantina band isn’t actually playing jizz music; you’re thinking of Jabba’s palace.
(I only know this because “Evar Orbus and his Galactic Jizz-Wailers” was the answer to a trivia question once.)
Nope. Figrin D’an and the Modal Nodes (the Cantina Band) are jizz musicians as well.
I’ve gotten six phone calls in the last 24 hours from a number listed to an Apple store in CA. I pick up and get a prerecorded message stating my ‘icloud account’ is being hacked, and I should press 1 for tech support.
I’m skeptical, especially as I don’t own any Apple products, and I don’t have any icloud, itunes or ianything accounts.
Obviously a scam. The first time I hung up.
The second time I asked the ‘tech’ what they needed, and played a little dumb as they tired to direct me to a tech site that would let them take control of my computer. They hung up on me.
The third time they called I was at work, and went to the website they directed me to and kept repeating the website code incorrectly to them, repeating directions wrong, and just generally being confused. They dude is screaming at me to repeat exactly what he says, and finally tells me I’m not allowed to ask questions even when I try to clarify which account is hacked or what is going on. He tells me I’m too retarded to do this, and hangs up on me.
The fourth time I get a call from them I tell the guy its the fourth time he’s called, and ask if he’d proud of what he’s doing. I asked if his mother was ashamed of him stealing from people. He hung up.
The fifth time I go ahead and let him log into a computer system…I’ve set up a spare laptop with a virtual machine that I’ve loaded with every virus, toolbar, pop up ad, and other crap I can find. If it was a horse we would shoot it. It wasn’t logged into an admin account, so he trashed a few files and rage quit on me.
Sixth time: I let the ‘tech’ (a different guy each time, I can hear others in the background) log into my virtual machine and encrypt some crap. He demands $200.00 to unlock it. I cry, sob, beg, and finally open up my wallet and get my credit card. I misspeak and mix up my numbers enough that he gets pissed and taunts me. I finally suggest I take a picture and email the pic to him so he can read it.
I get an email he types on the screen, and I send from a throwaway account the file ‘credit.card.jpg.zip’
Apparently when he clicked on the file he got infected with some cryptovirus. The buddy who gave me the file told me it was a form of ‘Petya’, but I’ve never actually opened it to find out. Apparently he encrypted and locked his computer system. How did that happen?
My personal wondering is if his computer was on a networked environment or if they were isolated from each other. All I know is I didn’t get any more phone calls after that.
This is amazing. Related: Reply All did a couple episodes on a company that runs these scams a while back. It gets pretty wild.
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
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