Am I wet? Am I on my period? Did I pee my pants?- next on wtf is going on down there.

I’m so glad this is a universal wondering among vagina-owners, haha.


Tune in next time for: Are these menstrual cramps? Am I pregnant? Is it just gas? I wouldn’t have to ask these questions if I didn’t have a damn uterus

Next week: Is it a bladder infection? An ovarian cyst? Do I have endometriosis? Oh God please do not let it be cervical cancer! A 20/20 special

Y’all are forgetting the all-time classic: Is it just my period or is my appendix about to burst? Some nice tea and a heatpack or 911 and emergency surgery?

There is actually a test for that last one!

Place your hand over the pain, press down slightly and release. If the pain doesn’t change by any great margin, you’re fine. If it suddenly becomes some painful you can barely stand, Get thee to an Emergency Room

That is not good advice. “Rebound pain” is a symptom of appendicitis, it’s true, but it’s not 100% reliable. And there are many, many other things that can cause lower abdominal pain that are Bad News. It could be an ovarian torsion, an ectopic pregnancy, pelvic inflammatory disease, or many other dangerous conditions that this test can’t distinguish. If your pain is much worse than your normal period, you need to get it checked out.






I’ve gotten messages telling me @buzzfeed featured my post on their snap today and my question is, once again, where’s my cut of the check going to whoever’s job it is to literally screenshot my content and repost it?

@buzzfeed why do you pay your employees to copy+paste my content? why not hire creative people instead? just wondering.

@buzzfeed either start paying me, or stop using my stuff thanks!

I genuinely do not care when people on reddit or facebook or somewhere else screenshot and repost my content, because they’re not getting paid either.

What bothers me is that @buzzfeed has paid employees who have at least ten times now reposted my content to earn their paychecks. Whereas I am blogging for free on a platform that offers virtually no opportunities for content creators to profit from the time we spend.

I clearly offer something Buzzfeed wants and values as marketable, but rather than reach out to me to discuss how I could be an asset to them, or to at least ask permission to repost my content for free, they just pay their employees to scour my blog and make money off of me without benefiting me in any way.

It’s bullshit, and I’m genuinely tired of it.

@buzzfeed stole one of my posts for a listicle and apparently it was so good they quoted it verbatim for the article header to get clicks. Never once heard from @buzzfeed about permission or compensation. I could really use that too because I’m disabled and struggling on govt aid. So @buzzfeed you paid someone to steal my content in order to earn ad revenue for your selves so how about giving a cut to the people actually creating the work?

What is it gonna take though? @buzzfeed getting sued by a creator? Getting sued by multiple creators? Constant DMCA takedowns? There is no way @buzzfeed can claim they aren’t successful enough to pay all of its contributors. The exposure argument doesn’t work when so much of the stolen content is poorly credited or not at all. Its pure theft and hoping to get away with it by either the creators never seeing it or hopefully the creators being jazzed that they showed up on buzzfeed.

Autism and Emotional Labour

I don’t have the energy or wording ability to comment much on this one right now.

(Though I can’t say I much like the number of rather different things which do tend to get lumped together under that label. As a more general issue, not specifically to do with this post. The executive function stuff really doesn’t fit under “emotional”.)

Anyway, I didn’t get far into it before something struck me pretty hard:

If you read the MetaFilter thread, you’ve probably already pictured this scenario. Let’s imagine an autistic man married to an NT woman. (Possibly a stereotype, but also the situation of many people IRL, including people I know, so let’s just run with it for now.)

The NT woman says, “My husband isn’t doing any emotional labour for me. He never knows what I’m thinking or feeling unless I tell him. If I tell him what to do, he’ll do it, but that doesn’t feel like enough. Just once, I want someone to notice I’ve had a bad day and know how to comfort me, without my having to say anything. When my husband doesn’t do that, I feel so invisible and lonely.”

The autistic man says, “I don’t understand how to make my wife happy. She wants me to guess what she is feeling, but I can’t read her facial expressions or body language, so I can’t guess! Why can’t she just tell me what she wants? I always do whatever she asks of me, and it kills me that this isn’t enough.

Neither partner in this scenario is wrong. Both are suffering because of unmet needs.

That is a fairly stereotypical scenario. But, some of the phrasing caught my attention.

I am so, so glad to be living with someone now who is NOT in the habit of deciding they know what I’m thinking and feeling better than I do, without bothering to consult me about it. Much less getting all pissy on the regular, based on assumptions about that from whatever cues they’re (often badly mis)reading. And giving that much more weight than what I do say about my own feelings.

(While I’m turning more hypervigilant all the time, trying to predict and anticipate what’s going on with them based on observation and pattern matching 😦)

Talk about some very different needs and expectations, yeah.

I probably react much more strongly to that pattern since I do associate it with low regard for boundaries, the other person being unwilling/unable to admit when they’re wrong, and actual abusive behavior. But, I doubt I would appreciate it much even without the additional baggage, and with everyone involved consistently acting in good faith.

Important to recognize when communication just isn’t working well for everyone involved, and try to come up with some solution that does work. It’s also important for everyone involved to try there, getting back to one major theme in that post.

Hadn’t thought about the “please do not assume you know what I’m thinking and feeling” in exactly those terms before, I don’t think. But, I was also thinking again earlier about some other needs not always getting met so well usually being a decent tradeoff for generally more respectful behavior. And just not regularly having to put up with a bunch of interference and sniping, which never would have passed for acceptable had it gone the other way.

This is definitely one example, to the point that it jumped out in a rather triggering way when I read this a while later.



today i learned that, when Jared Leto sent Margot Robbie a live rat as a part of his rude, bullshit “method acting” fo Suicide Squad, she was scared but still refused to abandon or harm the rat.

she overcame her initial fear in order to buy him a proper set up and take care of him until she found the rat a reliable owner, who… ended up being Guillermo del Toro for some reason?

so yeah that’s what happened with the Suicide Squad rat

I mean, I’D trust Guillermo del Toro with a rat.

@kingofherrings – That was one of my first thoughts there, too.

I actually didn’t have the spoons to look too closely for how they were handling that, with every disabled actor also falling under one of the ethnicity categories. Hopefully “disabled” doesn’t turn into your ethnic background for those purposes? 🤔

But, that made the whole setup seem extra weird.

And, in the interesting groupings department (from the actual report linked here):

For the first time in 10 years, the “Middle Eastern/North African, American Indian and Disabled actors” category (formerly referred to as “Other”) exceeded 1%, largely fueled by disabled actors in Spring Awakening.

I guess that’s slightly better than “Other”, but it also sounds a lot like “groups of people we never expect to see in shows”.

It’s also a good thing somebody is collecting figures on disabled representation too, but besides the usually under 1% even combined with other groups? Putting that alongside ethnicity seems more than a little odd.

Broadway diversity improves for all but Asian Americans, report finds



Asian Americans were the only minority group to see a drop in representation on New York City stages during the 2015-2016 season, even as nearly two in five roles — a record high over the last 10 seasons — went to minority actors, according to a new report.

Within the entire industry, Asians accounted for just 4 percent of all roles, falling 5 percentage points from the previous season, according to the report. It was the steepest drop among all minority groups.

Broadway diversity improves for all but Asian Americans, report finds