Month: January 2018

clatterbane:

How fun. Mr. C is back up watching YouTube, after he did something ridiculous to one elbow while straightening out the mattress pad before bed.

He was already up once a little while ago to put some of his go-to Tiger Balm on it, but that apparently didn’t do enough to let him get to sleep. Doesn’t want to take anything for it, still trying to figure out if it’s just more “bendy joints being obnoxious” or if there’s some actual structural damage. (He rarely will take so much as a Tylenol, but the reasoning this time got me a tad concerned.)

Knowing him, if he’s even mentioning it? It must be pretty bad.

Would basically just curse a lot if it were my elbow by now– as one more thing–but of course it’s different when it’s somebody else. Getting more of a taste again of really wishing there were more I could do to help.

He went back to bed maybe an hour ago, and almost immediately started snoring in there.

Said he thought it probably was just grumpy muscles. Certainly hoping it’s not worse in the morning.

semitics:

semitics:

semitics:

semitics:

People need to stop assuming men don’t sexually harass, abuse, and assault butch women.

Stop delegitimizing our trauma because you don’t find us fuckable, thanks, we know.

Also like stop basing your concept about Who Is Going To Experience Sexual Violence by how attractive you find someone. Not only is it just shitty and dehumanizing, it frames sexual violence as something that stems from attraction rather than the assertion of domination and power over someone.

This way of parsing and only legitimizing victims seen as Worthy of legitimizing also frequently envisions the Subject of assault as an able-bodied straight white woman. You cannot separate violence against women of color, lesbians/bi women and disabled women from sexual violence, and to attempt to do so is in and of itself, violent.

abusesurvivornetwork:

iamatinyowl:

The thing I remember most, looking back on my abusive relationships, is that whenever I was angry about the way I was being treated and tried to confront my abuser it was never a fight about what I was angry about. He always made it a fight about me being angry. He always made it seem like my anger was the problem, not my abuse.

Abusers will make you believe that the abuse isn’t the problem, that your ‘irrational’ anger is the problem.

This is a major red flag in relationships to always look for, and I recommend writing down every incident where your partner, friend, or family member, or anyone, gets angry/annoyed at you for having emotions. It is abusive, and manipulative. Maybe once in a while it’s human – emotions are tricky – but do keep a log. 

Because usually, by the end of the argument you’ll be too scrambled to think anything but “it was my fault” and you won’t get why. You’ll just be exhausted.

If people are like this to you, get the hell away. They try to paint you as irrational and overemotional and they know it.

How fun. Mr. C is back up watching YouTube, after he did something ridiculous to one elbow while straightening out the mattress pad before bed.

He was already up once a little while ago to put some of his go-to Tiger Balm on it, but that apparently didn’t do enough to let him get to sleep. Doesn’t want to take anything for it, still trying to figure out if it’s just more “bendy joints being obnoxious” or if there’s some actual structural damage. (He rarely will take so much as a Tylenol, but the reasoning this time got me a tad concerned.)

Knowing him, if he’s even mentioning it? It must be pretty bad.

Would basically just curse a lot if it were my elbow by now– as one more thing–but of course it’s different when it’s somebody else. Getting more of a taste again of really wishing there were more I could do to help.