holy crap i didnt know this needed to be said but apparently it does
dont make fun of people if they dont react to something right away.
i know for myself, when i read something i pause for a couple seconds and then react. or when someone tells me something it takes me 20 seconds to react.
whether its because of trauma, sensory issues, or disability dont make fun of someone for it
and don’t get offended if you start to make fun of me or prod me for a reaction and I say “give me a fucking second to process it ffs”
Has anyone checked the movement of the tectonic plates to be sure?
You can’t stay in the European Union cause the people voted
…in an advisory referendum, which Scotland voted against.
A wise man once said: “The British people have had Enough of Experts!” and I for one refuse to listen to this minister; somebody find me a spade and a fan I’ll move the islands myself!
In case anybody thought I was totally joking about the pontoon plan involving the Sargasso Sea back before the referendum…
Couple Taking Engagement Photos Encounters Black Metal Band In The Woods
John Awesome and Nydia Hernandez were having an engagement photoshoot with photographer Janet Wheeland in Holy Jim Canyon, California when they stumbled into an entirely different kind of shoot. Black metal band Coldvoid happened to be in the same woods shooting promo photos under the full moon, and the two groups decided to join forces.
“During the last part of the session, we noticed a few guys with some corpse paint makeup on sitting at a nearby bench blaring out some black metal music,” Awesome told ABC News. “We just randomly thought it would be a funny idea if we could get them to be a part of our engagement shoot. So we approached them and asked and they more than happy to accept! Super nice people. I seriously can’t make this stuff up.” X
{ As it turns out they are a pretty good Black Metal Band from Cali, check them out in the link to their Bandcamp}
I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.
I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”
when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”
One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”
One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”
She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.
Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed
Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.
i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy – ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it
but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”
as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”
there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”
the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”
one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.”
we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”
I used to work super early mornings stocking at A.C. Moore (5am, store doesn’t open till 9am) so my brain doesn’t always work when helping customers.
I help a lady and as I walk away I turn to tell her “If you have any questions, just ask” but it mixed with “it was no bother” and proceeded to tell her “If you have any questions don’t bother asking” I had to stop in my tracks and proceed to apologize as she started laughing at my confusion
Urocyon's Jaunts 2.0 
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